What Should Christian Women Look For In A Man?

What Should Christian Women Look For In A Man?

What Should Christian Women Look For In A Man?

1. Spiritually Fit.

Putting this into a spiritual context, Christian women should yearn for a man who is frequently exercising his spiritual muscles. Maybe he attends a bible class, midweek service, home group, or even a mens Bible Study. Regardless of what his spiritual workouts looks like, any woman who is seeking a Godly man should find someone who is constantly refining his relationship with Christ.

2. Calm and collective.

Proverbs 14:29 states, “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.” A woman after God should always seek a man who can collect his temper, hold his anger, and constantly seek to stay calm a midst trials and tribulations.

3. Someone who can lead.

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.” And while I understand that not every man is destined to be a world-renown leader, I do believe that each individual man in this world has a leadership role to fulfill within a marriage. Whether this role be filled by helping make big decisions, managing finances or even leading the family spiritually, every man is called to be a leader.

4. A trustworthy soul. 

He should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t seek a man you can trust, you’ll probably end up making him as bitter as you’ll make yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t find a man you can trust, you should probably take some time away from pursuing. If there’s good reason not to trust him, don’t even think about pursuing a relationship with him.

5. Prayerful. 

A man who doesn’t pray is a man who doesn’t truly have a relationship with God. I encourage all women to seek after a guy who has a strong prayer life with the one who created him. A man worth pursuing is a man who seeks after God on a daily basis. A prayerful man will encourage a prayerful relationship.

6. Selfless.

He should care about others more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats her family and her friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close friends, that’s probably a red flag. Some questions to ask yourself: Does she care about the needy? Does she go out and volunteer where it’s needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? These are important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life with.

7. Ambitious.

Seek a man who has confidence in his skills, and uses them to pursue his dreams. Not only should this man seek to fulfill his God-given calling, but he should also empower his wife to pursue hers. Godly women should seek a man who is passionate about life, his calling, and his marriage. Don’t get caught in a relationship with a man who is lazy.

8. Forgiving.

Don’t reach for a man who is unlikely to forgive. The last thing any women of God want’s is to be in a relationship with someone who holds resentment for mistakes, issues, and misunderstandings. A forgiving man is a Godly man. Seek a man who showcases the same love and grace as Jesus.

9. Loving.

1 John 4:8 says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” We can conclude that any man who truly loves God, is a man who loves without limitations. Women need to look for someone who is willing to showcase love no matter the circumstance. You don’t want to get caught in a relationship with someone who acts like showing love is worse than pulling teeth.

10. A good reputation.

Proverbs 22:1 states, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” And while many people might not necessarily agree, I believe any God-fearing woman should desire to seek a man whose reputation is always kept under control. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but joining a man whose reputation has fallen for a reason is something you should think twice about before accepting. Seek to be with a man who gets raving compliments when his name is brought up mid-conversation.

-Jarrid Wilson


What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below. 

About the Author


  • Lisa C. Hallahan July 30, 2015 at 2:22 PM

    Jared, I loved this article! I was wondering if I could re-post it on my blog (with full credit and link backs to you of course)? My website is A Lovely Calling: alovelycalling.com… Please let me know! Thank you so much!

  • Norma June 9, 2015 at 9:23 PM

    Some women like me who are in their 50’s, who are trying to start a new life after divorce, are trying to find godly men and it’s not easy. So many men at this age are trying to relive their lives as 20 year olds! Please advise…

  • sean March 27, 2015 at 9:10 AM

    I disagree with several points
    I believe the man needs to be healed by God first totaly dependent on God and Jesus, not himself at all. As for people with a shady past, that’s everyone. I would look for a male who is an overcomer. So many christian guys who come from a solid christian background piously say things like this. Just like my old pastor when I said we are taking a beach trip and females from the church will be there. I told him I that I think its a bad idea for us to see them in bikinis and he said he thought that we my issue and not the other guys. So I guess these other guys don’t struggle with list.wow, that means they are holier than most men in the bible. Whatever
    A female in my opinion needs to seek a guy with godly of course but don’t let his past deter you if he is saved and walking in the spirit. I’d rather marry a female submitte to Christ than the most confident women out there
    I see a lot of arrogance and self on church. Men are to become less and Christ more in us daily. The word self anything in my opinion is not a good quality.

  • Truth- lover February 5, 2015 at 6:42 AM

    Where are the mature godly men? The current culture is filled with shallow superficial people who have neither the skills, the priorities, nor the maturity to pull off an actual relationship. And godly priorities? Where’s the hunger for YHWH and His refining Truth? They are not in those buildings people call “churches”. The folks attending are just like the world. Where’s the Substance of Character?

    • God Is February 18, 2015 at 3:19 AM

      I am right here.

      -A virgin prophet of God.

  • sarah December 15, 2014 at 3:14 AM

    Thank you for these thoughts. I am actually having a problem in my relationship right now. My boyfriend is a christian and I’m having a hard time dealing with him. Some of the items here does not describe him. I don’t know what to do because I love him and i am willing to accept him just the way it is. But, i guess what I’m thinkng ws totally wrong. I think i deserve someone better

    • Ashley December 16, 2014 at 9:11 AM

      I am feeling the same way towards my bf too. He supposed to be proposing to me cause he wants us to get married…but I am feeling so many doubts and feeling like the lord doesn’t want me to pursue a relationship with him anymore or that God has a godly man in store for me. If that’s how you feel I wouldn’t stay with him. If he isn’t actively seeking a relationship with the lord, being a servant to others and showing kindness then I think the lord may have someone else is store for you, in the future….(:

    • O'Reilly February 8, 2015 at 7:52 PM

      I understand what you’re going trough, I’m going through the exact same thing too but I’m not ready to give up just yet. Perhaps talking to him about some of these things and working out your problems will help. Jesis gives us second chances every day and we’re here to strive to follow in Jesus’ steps. Maybe he can change, and it’ll prove wether he’s worth it

    • steven October 1, 2015 at 1:48 PM

      pray about pastoral counseling

  • Jud Archer December 3, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    On point! Really challenging, especially for us guys. Thanks!

  • Rosel December 2, 2014 at 5:06 AM

    Good article…Definitely what i am looking for, but i think men with this characteristic doesnt exist now haha….but still waiting for Gods perfect timing to find the one…

  • Karlee December 1, 2014 at 2:48 PM

    i also look for a guy who has a good relationship with his parents and is respectful and polite

  • Jacque December 1, 2014 at 12:22 PM

    I sincerely appreciate this article Jarrid! It makes me reflect on my man and how he treats others and myself. He has so many of these qualities, I am very thankful to have him.

    With regards to a lot of the comments on here bashing men, it’s not about XBox or college drop-outs. It’s about finding that guy that has ambition. I think women try to control a man too much when they are in a relationship. Women have to accept the man as they met him and not expect him to change. There’s nothing wrong with a guy playing Xbox occasionally. And there are so many reasons people can’t continue there education.

    A man that is ambitious uses his talents and helps the world along the way. He can’t forget to live his life either. EVERYONE has flaws! No one is perfect but it’s nice to find someone who makes you dream bigger and wiser than before from God’s inspiration and love.

  • anonymous December 1, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    This is why churches should focus on young single adults. So many are focused on families that they forget the singles. However, if you forget the singles, then these families start to age out and the church that does not serve the singles, does not continue to grow.

  • Jennifer Gabriela Roring November 30, 2014 at 11:23 PM

    Thank you Pastor for this great article. Jesus bless you.

  • Estefania November 25, 2014 at 3:52 PM

    @ Rachel …Well said sister in Christ!

    There are groups of women like me in their late 20’s who are still single because the men are failing miserably at being men. They are boys and know some girl out there will settle for the lowest common denominator.

    We need some men!

    • Kashmon November 30, 2014 at 10:28 PM

      well a lot of women do not want to be women anymore, they want to be the provider the leader etc- then they whine that single men are not manning up ( aka becoming a woman)

      well thank God godly single men are avoiding such women who have no interest in being a woman and are patiently waiting for a god -fearing woman

  • Nessa November 19, 2014 at 1:49 AM

    Hi, thank you for this article. So worth to read :)

  • Mitchy November 18, 2014 at 2:46 PM

    Unmarried 38 yr old male here ( but I am dating someone). Here’s the problem. Most women care too much about a man’s money. A man that focuses on his career for 80 hours a week is worshipping money over god. Jesus clearly instructed us not to do that. While there may be a handful of women that aren’t money focused left in this world, they still seem to want to at least marry a man that is.

    Ultra-christian men often do not succeed financially because often the quest to earn financial wealth comes at a sinful cost.

    I may be unemployed now, but I spend my time learning about the God, attending Bible studies, trying to build a writing career, and volunteering. I could be the most God focused man in the world, but most women wouldn’t want me because I dont earn the bacon. But my principles say that i should accept only a job that both pays me enough to live on, and that glorifies God. Not many choices out there.

    So the problem is, most women don’t want a godly man. They want a worldly man who claims to be godly. You know this is true.

    • Kashmon November 30, 2014 at 10:31 PM

      men have to provide for their families, some men can do so and fulfill their callings in 50 hours

      some 80-100 hours- does not make that man ungodly and money focused- if a man is called to be a surgeon or run is brilliant at running a business some of his training and work will involve working long hours.

      Some men value their role as providers, and do not want to burden their wives so work 2-3 normal jobs- these are not selfish men

      they are sacrificing their lives through their provision for their wives!!

    • Kristel November 30, 2014 at 10:58 PM

      Thanks for identifying what’s really wrong with my heart. I believe your comment perfectly reflects it. So that’s why I’ve been struggling lately =( huhu!

    • Rose December 2, 2014 at 5:15 AM

      Well, there are still women of who doesnt care about men with lots of money..But if a Godly man wants to have a family, of course man have to make a living to raise his family..

  • Daniel October 12, 2014 at 4:47 AM

    Am looking for a devoted Christian spouse.

    • Trishana Mcintosh October 18, 2014 at 8:38 PM

      I feel like there’s no hope all these guys i know are in the world not christ, it’s a little hard to find that Godly one :'(

    • Truth-lover February 5, 2015 at 6:23 AM

      Daniel, How old are you? How can a godly never-married woman cross your path to learn about you? Lovethetruth.ca at gmail.com

  • andrea1922 August 11, 2014 at 7:57 PM

    I love where you say that you shouldn’t go for a guy who is lazy…

  • TiffanyBryant August 9, 2014 at 12:35 AM

    I definitely believe he should be a Godly man that bears Godly fruit, a man after God’s own heart. He should be a man of integrity… A capable leader… A hard worker… Funny and fun… Caring of others… A good steward. Family oriented… Disciplined/self controlled… Humble…Wise…and all the others listed by Mr.

  • morgan June 27, 2014 at 6:04 AM

    I have found a guy that does all these thing but he is Mormon. We have been together for 6months and I have found nothing wrong, he has a strong walk with God. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I’ve heard Christians and Mormons don’t mix but we seem to be just fine together. Very happy actually. What’s your advise Jarrid?

  • Shygirl June 26, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    All I have to say is….where are the guys that fit this description? I’ve been a Christian for most of my life and I’ve never met a guy like this in church, or anywhere else. No wonder so many of us are still single :-/

    • Djm October 12, 2014 at 4:32 AM

      am here

    • Kiley November 26, 2014 at 8:02 PM

      I agree with this.

    • Kashmon November 30, 2014 at 10:32 PM

      they get married quickly to a Godly woman, or leave the church to find one!!

  • anon March 15, 2014 at 11:07 AM

    Hi jared uf list is fantastic but what if I have been looking but I can nit find a chriatian man with these qualities but have found a muslim…he doesnt pray but converted for me….but he does not have personal walk with god but he has most of the qualities you have mentioned in ur list….I dont know what to do tho cos I have been praying for a godly man n this man comes along

    • mj June 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

      You must be patient. And pray about it. Ask yourself do you want a praying husband or not?

  • Anonymous March 14, 2014 at 9:06 AM

    well it’s not hard to find those kinds of men in church. The question is, will you allow these men to pursue you? Sometimes it all boils down to your YES or NO. Too many men in church have been scarred of women’s high standard preference who often end up with junkies whom they’re trying to “evangelize”. And what’s the reason? “he was brave enough to tell me he loves me”

    Of course he will, he just might have the wrong intentions if he’s not after God’s heart though. I think you ought to write a letter to women to CONSIDER dating these men.

    • Anonymous March 14, 2014 at 9:07 AM

      dating *Godly men over junkies that is

  • Rachel March 14, 2014 at 5:24 AM

    Jared, these are great lists…except where I live (in southern CA) I’ve been looking for someone like this for over 12 years. I’ve been in churches with many young and single people. The men fail to lead, they are college drop outs and cannot provide for themselves, let alone a girlfriend or children, they are more into their Xbox than God, even if they go to cell/life/community whatever the fad you want to call them is. They have no ambition and many times no job. As a woman, if I am the one who has ambition, a full time job, a graduate degree, young, and follows God, men in the church are so intimidated they don’t even approach me (which is another whole problem with people)..Guys do not take the time out these days to even talk to girls and see if they are suitable to go out with first…what gives? These are really nice ideals and whatnot, but men just seem to not have them. There are groups of women like me in their late 20’s who are still single because the men are failing miserably at being men. They are boys and know some girl out there will settle for the lowest common denominator.

    • Ashley June 17, 2014 at 11:50 AM

      Girl, you are spelling the story of my life!! It is SO hard to hold on to the hope that there is someone out there who fits ALL of these criteria. It’s truly a battle, but I have to believe it will be worth the wait.

    • Ross June 28, 2014 at 6:00 AM

      There are men out there. Maybe they don’t fit some of your criteria, they may well have dropped out of college or never attended. But that doesn’t change their character, who they are as a person. You might know the right guy, but he missed out on a criteria you set. It’s a painful experience to find you have failed on a petty insignificant criteria and lose a potential relationship over that.

      I live on the other side of the world, so I wouldn’t know what’s going on. I just think that you are being a little harsh… especially writing off half the human race. ;)

    • andrea1922 August 11, 2014 at 8:10 PM

      We are in the same boat!…there are seriously NO potential guys where I am from. They are perfectly content working so they can fix up their cars and go mudding or something. it’s meaningless stuff! I want a guy who has a purpose in life and is willing to do what he can to achieve his goal in life and to do what the Lord wants him to do. Then there are the guys at college who are 1. 3 years younger than I am 2. Immature because of their age 3. Too famine 4. they are already dating or 5. Perfect yet not looking to date anyone…-_-

    • Brian September 6, 2014 at 12:27 AM

      I think you are missing the point. It can’t be ALL men’s fault. That’s a ludicrous statement for a Christian woman to make. You bare some responsibility for you part in this…be it consciously or subconsciously.

      Besides, how is that bad attitude working for you? 12-years and no success? Yep, must be ALL men’s fault.

    • Amanda December 1, 2014 at 6:24 AM

      I couldn’t agree with you more! All the men I know are intimidated by me and say that I make them feel bad about themselves just because I work and go to school. The most common come back I get is I’m too good for them or I deserve better. It’s beyond frustrating!

  • Nicole March 13, 2014 at 7:48 PM

    Passionate about God, that´s the most important for me.

  • Judy Jackson March 1, 2014 at 5:38 PM


  • Anonymous February 25, 2014 at 7:37 AM


    He should care about others more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats her family and her friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close friends, that’s probably a red flag. Some questions to ask yourself: Does SHE care about the needy? Does SHE go out and volunteer where it’s needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? These are important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life with.

  • Anonymous February 22, 2014 at 11:19 PM

    Really interesting thoughts. Would you consider compliling a list for what guys should look for in girls?

    • Rosie November 18, 2014 at 3:18 AM

      Yes, please! I really enjoyed the article, but I want to know what guys should look for in girls.

  • Krissy Higgins (@Krissy_r) February 21, 2014 at 12:35 PM

    I completely agree – one thing I SWEAR by is DOES HE WEAR A WATCH? I’d bet dollars to donuts you do – and most men worth anything! Tall-tale signs

  • Anonymous February 21, 2014 at 10:05 AM

    I agree with everything that was written. However, with the good reputation thing, i believe that everyone should be given a chance. Some people need to go through tough trials to get to Christ. We should not look away from people because of their past mistakes, but look at who they are presently and how God has changed their lives.

    • Anna February 22, 2014 at 2:55 AM

      thats exactly what I thought. Everybody needs chances since God Himself never see our past and sins. We are who seeking for God’s love in life need to learn how to act as a God’s child, start from giving people second chance.

      may God’s blessings be with you always

    • The Mrs. February 22, 2014 at 9:17 PM

      Although I agree with giving a person another chance (because of a historic mistake) but I believe Jarrid’s post of “Reputation” is more for someone who has a pattern of that mistake and the degree of the mistake :-)

  • KatrinaJoyce February 21, 2014 at 10:05 AM

    “God so blessed me to have him” I always tell this phrase to myself whenever I read an article that says why I should keep my man. :)

  • Catalina Toma February 21, 2014 at 8:03 AM

    Loved it! I am so glad a man wrote this. Indeed, a worth waiting for kind of man.

  • mayor February 21, 2014 at 7:49 AM

    How about the FEAR OF GOD? It is a top list for anyone that wants a blissful marriage. Other qualities can fall into temptation but the fear of God will not.

  • ivy February 21, 2014 at 7:00 AM

    I’m one of those who do not agree with no. 10… I mean, Jesus did not at all surround himself with people who had a good reputation, so why should we act differently and forbid ourselves to love someone because he has a bad reputation?

    • TLA November 16, 2014 at 5:05 AM

      I think he’s talking about his rep as a Christian not sinner. My BFF is currently seeking a man who is a Christian. However, as a Christian his reputation is a womanizer, flirty, has had indiscretions that have kept him off the leadership board at his church. I think this kind of reputation is what he’s refering to.

    • TLA November 16, 2014 at 5:06 AM

      I mean seeing a man

  • Rye February 21, 2014 at 2:27 AM

    I agree :)

  • Esme Collins February 21, 2014 at 12:26 AM

    Every womens’ desire but to have ALL 10 characteristics?

  • Lilly February 20, 2014 at 10:41 PM

    What if the reputation they once had is no longer who they are? People are allowed to change right, so while a previous reputation might be there, if its not true anymore.. does it still count?

  • Dustin Kannard February 20, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    You post what Christian women should look for in a man. What about what a Christian man should look for in a woman?

  • Nancy February 20, 2014 at 8:55 PM

    My ex)

  • esorenneiluj25 February 20, 2014 at 5:40 PM

    Wow! This is actually I’m looking for a man… you got it right! :) Thanks for this post!

  • Still a baby in Christ February 20, 2014 at 5:24 PM

    I think that men should also look for women with the same qualities. After all, a man with all the qualities above deserve a woman equally as awesome. We all know the old saying, “before we find the perfect man, we should first strive to become the perfect woman”. But.. let’s not focus on that all throughout our single season. Striving to be a better person should be done to please and give glory to God.

  • brandy rounds February 20, 2014 at 4:33 PM

    LOVE your stuff..I have been praying for a Godly man for a VERY long time. 41 n never married lol…However, right now I am concerned more with my teens salvation. I was told there was a faith based series on learning how to talk to your teen…any ideas on where U could look for it?

  • Carolina Buentello February 20, 2014 at 3:26 PM

    This was very good. I myself have the “h”s
    1. Holy
    2. Handsome
    3. Hardworking
    4. (H)intelligent
    That doesn’t cover everything though!

  • Brithany February 20, 2014 at 2:50 PM

    You are truly anointed! So much said in so little words. I’m definitely keeping his list! God bless you Jarrid!

  • Andrea February 20, 2014 at 2:29 PM

    Thanks for these words, Jarrid! It’s nice to have this “list” as a reminder, as I continue to wait on the Lord for my future spouse.

  • fmu_mj February 20, 2014 at 2:20 PM

    How do you do it in so few words, Jarrid?!? This is another one of your posts I’ll have to share with the Future Marriage University (FMU) community at: https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.

    Great stuff! In particular I love #5: prayerful.

    You can’t be close to someone you don’t spend time with and it is in intimacy with His Heavenly father that I man learns how to pursue HEALTHY intimacy with a daughter of God.

    Anyone looking for a little encouragement in seeking God in prayer, check out this post on our FMU Date Night Advice (DNA) blog: http://f-m-u.com/Blog/chick-flicks-vs-real-life/

  • Jacqui February 20, 2014 at 12:54 PM

    My boyfriend, who is also my first love; even though he is a christian there are some points (2 and 8) in this article in which he is still struggling with. I love him, we love God and pray together. What is your advice? Blessings!

    • Marjorie June 19, 2014 at 5:54 PM

      That’s pretty scary Jacqui…….coz if he really is into Christ, he would change….or if he loves you, he will naturally be calm, not controlled by his emotions…..if those qualities he struggles is thrown towards to….Godbless! :)

  • goonies217 February 20, 2014 at 12:38 PM

    Perfect! Keeping close to heart!

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