What Should Christian Women Look For In A Man?

What Should Christian Women Look For In A Man?

1. Spiritually Fit.

Putting this into a spiritual context, Christian women should yearn for a man who is frequently exercising his spiritual muscles. Maybe he attends a bible class, midweek service, home group, or even a mens Bible Study. Regardless of what his spiritual workouts looks like, any woman who is seeking a Godly man should find someone who is constantly refining his relationship with Christ.

2. Calm and collective.

Proverbs 14:29 states, “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.” A woman after God should always seek a man who can collect his temper, hold his anger, and constantly seek to stay calm a midst trials and tribulations.

3. Someone who can lead.

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.” And while I understand that not every man is destined to be a world-renown leader, I do believe that each individual man in this world has a leadership role to fulfill within a marriage. Whether this role be filled by helping make big decisions, managing finances or even leading the family spiritually, every man is called to be a leader.

4. A trustworthy soul. 

He should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t seek a man you can trust, you’ll probably end up making him as bitter as you’ll make yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t find a man you can trust, you should probably take some time away from pursuing. If there’s good reason not to trust him, don’t even think about pursuing a relationship with him.

5. Prayerful. 

A man who doesn’t pray is a man who doesn’t truly have a relationship with God. I encourage all women to seek after a guy who has a strong prayer life with the one who created him. A man worth pursuing is a man who seeks after God on a daily basis. A prayerful man will encourage a prayerful relationship.

6. Selfless.

He should care about others more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats her family and her friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close friends, that’s probably a red flag. Some questions to ask yourself: Does she care about the needy? Does she go out and volunteer where it’s needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? These are important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life with.

7. Ambitious.

Seek a man who has confidence in his skills, and uses them to pursue his dreams. Not only should this man seek to fulfill his God-given calling, but he should also empower his wife to pursue hers. Godly women should seek a man who is passionate about life, his calling, and his marriage. Don’t get caught in a relationship with a man who is lazy.

8. Forgiving.

Don’t reach for a man who is unlikely to forgive. The last thing any women of God want’s is to be in a relationship with someone who holds resentment for mistakes, issues, and misunderstandings. A forgiving man is a Godly man. Seek a man who showcases the same love and grace as Jesus.

9. Loving.

1 John 4:8 says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” We can conclude that any man who truly loves God, is a man who loves without limitations. Women need to look for someone who is willing to showcase love no matter the circumstance. You don’t want to get caught in a relationship with someone who acts like showing love is worse than pulling teeth.

10. A good reputation.

Proverbs 22:1 states, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” And while many people might not necessarily agree, I believe any God-fearing woman should desire to seek a man who’s reputation is always kept under control. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but joining a man who’s reputation has fallen for a reason is something you should think twice about before accepting. Seek to be with a man who gets raving compliments when his name is brought up mid-conversation.

-Jarrid Wilson


What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below. 

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  • Nessa November 19, 2014 at 1:49 AM

    Hi, thank you for this article. So worth to read :)

  • Mitchy November 18, 2014 at 2:46 PM

    Unmarried 38 yr old male here ( but I am dating someone). Here’s the problem. Most women care too much about a man’s money. A man that focuses on his career for 80 hours a week is worshipping money over god. Jesus clearly instructed us not to do that. While there may be a handful of women that aren’t money focused left in this world, they still seem to want to at least marry a man that is.

    Ultra-christian men often do not succeed financially because often the quest to earn financial wealth comes at a sinful cost.

    I may be unemployed now, but I spend my time learning about the God, attending Bible studies, trying to build a writing career, and volunteering. I could be the most God focused man in the world, but most women wouldn’t want me because I dont earn the bacon. But my principles say that i should accept only a job that both pays me enough to live on, and that glorifies God. Not many choices out there.

    So the problem is, most women don’t want a godly man. They want a worldly man who claims to be godly. You know this is true.

  • Daniel October 12, 2014 at 4:47 AM

    Am looking for a devoted Christian spouse.

    • Trishana Mcintosh October 18, 2014 at 8:38 PM

      I feel like there’s no hope all these guys i know are in the world not christ, it’s a little hard to find that Godly one :'(

  • andrea1922 August 11, 2014 at 7:57 PM

    I love where you say that you shouldn’t go for a guy who is lazy…

  • TiffanyBryant August 9, 2014 at 12:35 AM

    I definitely believe he should be a Godly man that bears Godly fruit, a man after God’s own heart. He should be a man of integrity… A capable leader… A hard worker… Funny and fun… Caring of others… A good steward. Family oriented… Disciplined/self controlled… Humble…Wise…and all the others listed by Mr.

  • morgan June 27, 2014 at 6:04 AM

    I have found a guy that does all these thing but he is Mormon. We have been together for 6months and I have found nothing wrong, he has a strong walk with God. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I’ve heard Christians and Mormons don’t mix but we seem to be just fine together. Very happy actually. What’s your advise Jarrid?

  • Shygirl June 26, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    All I have to say is….where are the guys that fit this description? I’ve been a Christian for most of my life and I’ve never met a guy like this in church, or anywhere else. No wonder so many of us are still single :-/

    • Djm October 12, 2014 at 4:32 AM

      am here

  • anon March 15, 2014 at 11:07 AM

    Hi jared uf list is fantastic but what if I have been looking but I can nit find a chriatian man with these qualities but have found a muslim…he doesnt pray but converted for me….but he does not have personal walk with god but he has most of the qualities you have mentioned in ur list….I dont know what to do tho cos I have been praying for a godly man n this man comes along

    • mj June 1, 2014 at 3:59 PM

      You must be patient. And pray about it. Ask yourself do you want a praying husband or not?

  • Anonymous March 14, 2014 at 9:06 AM

    well it’s not hard to find those kinds of men in church. The question is, will you allow these men to pursue you? Sometimes it all boils down to your YES or NO. Too many men in church have been scarred of women’s high standard preference who often end up with junkies whom they’re trying to “evangelize”. And what’s the reason? “he was brave enough to tell me he loves me”

    Of course he will, he just might have the wrong intentions if he’s not after God’s heart though. I think you ought to write a letter to women to CONSIDER dating these men.

    • Anonymous March 14, 2014 at 9:07 AM

      dating *Godly men over junkies that is

  • Rachel March 14, 2014 at 5:24 AM

    Jared, these are great lists…except where I live (in southern CA) I’ve been looking for someone like this for over 12 years. I’ve been in churches with many young and single people. The men fail to lead, they are college drop outs and cannot provide for themselves, let alone a girlfriend or children, they are more into their Xbox than God, even if they go to cell/life/community whatever the fad you want to call them is. They have no ambition and many times no job. As a woman, if I am the one who has ambition, a full time job, a graduate degree, young, and follows God, men in the church are so intimidated they don’t even approach me (which is another whole problem with people)..Guys do not take the time out these days to even talk to girls and see if they are suitable to go out with first…what gives? These are really nice ideals and whatnot, but men just seem to not have them. There are groups of women like me in their late 20’s who are still single because the men are failing miserably at being men. They are boys and know some girl out there will settle for the lowest common denominator.

    • Ashley June 17, 2014 at 11:50 AM

      Girl, you are spelling the story of my life!! It is SO hard to hold on to the hope that there is someone out there who fits ALL of these criteria. It’s truly a battle, but I have to believe it will be worth the wait.

    • Ross June 28, 2014 at 6:00 AM

      There are men out there. Maybe they don’t fit some of your criteria, they may well have dropped out of college or never attended. But that doesn’t change their character, who they are as a person. You might know the right guy, but he missed out on a criteria you set. It’s a painful experience to find you have failed on a petty insignificant criteria and lose a potential relationship over that.

      I live on the other side of the world, so I wouldn’t know what’s going on. I just think that you are being a little harsh… especially writing off half the human race. ;)

    • andrea1922 August 11, 2014 at 8:10 PM

      We are in the same boat!…there are seriously NO potential guys where I am from. They are perfectly content working so they can fix up their cars and go mudding or something. it’s meaningless stuff! I want a guy who has a purpose in life and is willing to do what he can to achieve his goal in life and to do what the Lord wants him to do. Then there are the guys at college who are 1. 3 years younger than I am 2. Immature because of their age 3. Too famine 4. they are already dating or 5. Perfect yet not looking to date anyone…-_-

    • Brian September 6, 2014 at 12:27 AM

      I think you are missing the point. It can’t be ALL men’s fault. That’s a ludicrous statement for a Christian woman to make. You bare some responsibility for you part in this…be it consciously or subconsciously.

      Besides, how is that bad attitude working for you? 12-years and no success? Yep, must be ALL men’s fault.

  • Nicole March 13, 2014 at 7:48 PM

    Passionate about God, that´s the most important for me.

  • Judy Jackson March 1, 2014 at 5:38 PM


  • Anonymous February 25, 2014 at 7:37 AM


    He should care about others more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats her family and her friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close friends, that’s probably a red flag. Some questions to ask yourself: Does SHE care about the needy? Does SHE go out and volunteer where it’s needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? These are important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life with.

  • Anonymous February 22, 2014 at 11:19 PM

    Really interesting thoughts. Would you consider compliling a list for what guys should look for in girls?

    • Rosie November 18, 2014 at 3:18 AM

      Yes, please! I really enjoyed the article, but I want to know what guys should look for in girls.

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