4 Reasons You Aren’t Ready For A Relationship

1. You think a relationship will make you feel better.

Whatever problems you have going on in life, I guarantee that getting yourself into a relationship won’t fix all of them. Sure, you might find some short-term peace, but a relationship alone isn’t going to make you feel any better. Respect someone enough to not use them as a solution for your hardships. (Matthew 11:28)

2. You think a relationship will bring you a sense of worth and identity.

Your worth is not found within a relationship, but instead God. Don’t date hoping someone will bring you a sense of worth that was intended to be fulfilled by your faith. When you place your worth upon the shoulders of someone else, you will inevitably be let down and disappointed. God won’t let you down. (Galatians 2:20)

3. You think a relationship will make you feel less lonely.

Short-term relationships will never fulfill long-term loneliness. Before you get yourself into a relationship with someone, you first need to find out where your internal loneliness is coming from. A relationship will only fulfill you for so long, until you then try to fill the void with someone new. Seek fulfillment in God alone before trying to seek the heart of someone else.  (Hebrews 12:2)

4. You date recreationally, and not intentionally.

If you’re dating for the sake of dating, you’re not ready for a real relationship. When it comes to dating, one must be mature enough to understand the harm recreational dating can have on someone’s heart and soul. If you’re looking to date, make sure your intentions are pure and focused. Don’t waste someone’s time so that you can have some fun. (Proverbs 21:8)

-Jarrid Wilson


What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

Published by Jarrid Wilson

Husband, Father, Pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship & Author of a few books.

58 comments on “4 Reasons You Aren’t Ready For A Relationship”

  1. How do you feel better? How do you feel good about yourself? How do you stop loneliness? I have gone to counseling for years. I see God working in my life and I seek to follow him daily, all throughout my day, and I have so for decades. I struggle with deep depression, self doubt and loneliness on a regular basis.

    My counselors, who were well respected Christian counselors, never told me not to date or pursue a woman, and even helped me figure out good ways to do so. I think a lot of us may be somewhat confused about all the motives behind why we do what we do. Isn’t it possible that we might be seeking someone for a variety of reasons, some good and some bad, and we just don’t know how to separate the two sets of motives for seeking them?

    1. You know when it’s the right time. The heart at some point never goes wrong. Sometimes it’s the time, the situation that makes things not possible. :) Besides, these points doesn’t work all at once I reckon. Just continue to surround yourself with the good and the positive people and be the person who’d attract the positives, too.

  2. These are some good points. But they are all negative descriptions what a relationship is not. Could we get a mirror-image about the attitudes that lead to successful relationships? I met an amazing lady several months ago, and we are now engaged. The way we met shows that God brought us together, but we have problems to deal with. These problems include friction between two previously independent people as well as external difficulties of life. At this point I can see that God uses us together in better ways than I would function on my own, and I am getting a lot of rough edges polished off.

  3. This is exactly what is happening to me. But I also feel that if I stop dating this person , I will lose something that might be worth givinga chance to, but then I’m not sure! :/

    1. I feel you… I’m in the same situation and I don’t know what to do. I tell myself, this is good, being close friends before dating will make it last. But I’m scared that I might lose a good friend of mine in case anything happens if we do date…

    2. Having been there myself and being married now, prayer is the best advice I can give you. Pray God shows you both what His will is for you two. Pray that God will guard both your hearts if it doesn’t work out. And when He answers be obedient.

    3. I feel you, dear. I’m also hesitant on whether or not I should stop seeing/being together with him, because what if this is a temporary feeling that only he can manage to heal? Like, what if that guy is God’s instrument to make us feel happy and loved in this world, right? I feel you :(

  4. What if some of us aren’t even having any luck in this “dating” world you speak of? Some of us do not seem to get any responses to our “dating” or romance asking’s. What are we suppose to do now?

    1. I don’t think it’s something that you go out and look for. It just comes when it’s right and you yourself will know when it’s right. Don’t be too focused on finding someone else. Focus on yourself first, your needs and try to get closer with God. Do the things you love and have fun. You never know, maybe on the way the right guy will be there. God Bless

    2. I personally think that that happens to all. But you’ve got to focus not on finding a partner (yes, this will always be at the back of your mind so long as you’re still single), but mainly focusing on what you really want to achieve in this life at this present moment and pursuing it. And when you determine what that is, you will find someone right.

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