Our Job Is To Love People, Not Change Them

I love change. I love helping people. And I love seeing people changed by the love God. But regardless of how much God decides to use me, I alone cannot change people. This is God’s job, not mine.

I remember when I first became a believer in Jesus and somehow thought that it was my duty to change people for the sake of advancing The Gospel—Which is funny because I myself wasn’t even changed by a man or women, but instead was loved and directed towards the only true source that could bring me change; God

I would rejoice when people would find hope in Christ, but would feel like a failure when someone would turn away from wanting to know Jesus as Lord. I took it personally. It was a little discouraging, but that’s because my mindset was completely off. I was focusing way too much on what “I” was doing for God, and not enough on the bigger picture; God’s omnipotent power and preeminent role in the business of life change.

I believe many of today’s Christians put too much weight on themselves to bring people to Jesus. It’s our job to love people, not change them. And we must understand the reality that only the Holy Spirit has the power and authority to do such a thing. Our calling is to simply share The Gospel in love and truth, showcasing the character of Jesus through our everyday lives. This alone is the calling of a Christian. This alone is a weighty yet fulfilling purpose for each and every person who chooses to pick up their cross daily.

If we were to scour the Bible, we’d see there is not a single passage which states we are called to change people. Why? Because it’s not our job, and it was never intended to be. We must take a step back and realize that God’s job is to be God, and our job is to lead people towards the door that is hope. Once we’ve done this, we must let go and allow He who created the world to take care of the rest.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”—John 13:34

Don’t waste your time trying to change people. Instead, focus on loving well.

—Jarrid Wilson


What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

Published by Jarrid Wilson

Husband, Father, Pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship & Author of a few books.

23 comments on “Our Job Is To Love People, Not Change Them”

  1. It’s certainly like you said, we are to love others and share with others the love of God for them and the gift of life we have through Jesus. We must pray for our unsaved loved ones that God will draw them. Jesus said, “no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them.” John 6:44. We got to do is plant the seed, and live a life worthy of being imitated. God takes care of the rest.

  2. This is really great and helpful. I forget to love people regularly. I am not a social butterfly but I need to get out of my comfort zone and love. I need to love on others to allow God to work through me.

  3. I remember talking with a friend about God and he told me he’s not ready, and I felt bad because I thought I failed. Then I realized I could try with all my might to change him, and it would never happen. But, what I learned I did was I planted the seed.

    Who knows, it could take years, even a lifetime to see the seed grow. Or, it may never grow at all.

    This is a great passage I think about every time I talk with someone about God… even when I talk to Christians: “What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe-as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” -1 Corinthians 3:5-9

    We’re either planting seeds in unbelievers or watering the seeds currently planted, but it comes down to God to make them grow. Just like seeds in the field. Sometimes you work all you can to get the crops to grow, but some of them never sprout.

    Keep rockin’, Jarrid!

    1. I had the same situation David.
      Thanks for sharing your experience. I also felt bad when my friend told me she was not yet ready, but now I know that I don’t need to feel bad about it.
      That we only need to plant the seeds, let God do the rest.

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