Ever have those weeks/months where:
1. You don’t ever want to get out of bed?
2. Your get overly emotional about anything and everything?
3. Your insecurities flare up over small and minuscule issues?
4. You feel like everyone around you is secretly planning a plot against you?
Yup, me to.
I want you to know that I battled with severe depression and anxiety for over 7 years of my life. And, although God has freed me from much of my bondage, I’m still human, I still have flaws, and it’s something I will always have to stand aware of.
If I’m Being Honest: Much of my late teenage years were spent deciding whether I wanted to continue living or not. I know that may sound harsh, but I’m just being honest with you. I knew things were getting bad when I started googling “easy ways to commit suicide,” but I was too embarrassed to tell my friends or family members. I was literally lifeless, and walking amidst a world that I felt had nothing left to offer me. Sound familiar to anyone? I remember that feeling like it was yesterday.
Depression is a vampire that sucks the life out of you.
The Reality Is: My depression had nothing to do with anyone other than me. Depression can turn you into your own worst enemy, and that’s exactly where satan wants us to be.
I have two reasons for writing this post:
1. For you to take away any pre-conceived notions that you may have of me and my relationship with God. Why? Because I’m not a perfect man. I’m not a perfect Christian. I’m not a perfect anything.
- I have flaws.
- I make mistakes.
- I will continue to fall short of the Glory of God.
2. That depression is nothing but an ant under the foot of God. The same power that conquered the grave lives within all of us, and your depression cannot match the power and love of Jesus Christ.
- Be vocal.
- Seek help.
- Don’t do this alone.
This post is to show you that you’re not alone. And that no matter how perfect people look through the lens of a tweet or facebook post, I guarantee they are just as jacked up as you and I are. Anyone who feels they are sitting at the lowest of lows can look to a God who sits at the highest of highs. Believe me, I’ve done it.
We are all in this together. Through honesty and transparency The Kingdom of God will continuously grow stronger.
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
- Jarrid Wilson