Ever have those weeks/months where:
1. You don’t ever want to get out of bed?
2. Your get overly emotional about anything and everything?
3. Your insecurities flare up over small and minuscule issues?
4. You feel like everyone around you is secretly planning a plot against you?
Yup, me to.
I want you to know that I battled with severe depression and anxiety for over 7 years of my life. And, although God has freed me from much of my bondage, I’m still human, I still have flaws, and it’s something I will always have to stand aware of.
If I’m Being Honest: Much of my late teenage years were spent deciding whether I wanted to continue living or not. I know that may sound harsh, but I’m just being honest with you. I knew things were getting bad when I started googling “easy ways to commit suicide,” but I was too embarrassed to tell my friends or family members. I was literally lifeless, and walking amidst a world that I felt had nothing left to offer me. Sound familiar to anyone? I remember that feeling like it was yesterday.
Depression is a vampire that sucks the life out of you.
The Reality Is: My depression had nothing to do with anyone other than me. Depression can turn you into your own worst enemy, and that’s exactly where satan wants us to be.
I have two reasons for writing this post:
1. For you to take away any pre-conceived notions that you may have of me and my relationship with God. Why? Because I’m not a perfect man. I’m not a perfect Christian. I’m not a perfect anything.
- I have flaws.
- I make mistakes.
- I will continue to fall short of the Glory of God.
2. That depression is nothing but an ant under the foot of God. The same power that conquered the grave lives within all of us, and your depression cannot match the power and love of Jesus Christ.
- Be vocal.
- Seek help.
- Don’t do this alone.
This post is to show you that you’re not alone. And that no matter how perfect people look through the lens of a tweet or facebook post, I guarantee they are just as jacked up as you and I are. Anyone who feels they are sitting at the lowest of lows can look to a God who sits at the highest of highs. Believe me, I’ve done it.
We are all in this together. Through honesty and transparency The Kingdom of God will continuously grow stronger.
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
- Jarrid Wilson
WOW! so powerful.
Thank you, Jarrid.
I needed this right now.
Thank you Jarrid. I always appreciate your posts and messages.
I really needed to hear this, in a time when I’m struggling badly and feel all alone; that it’s ok to feel this way sometimes.When I’m down, it’s easy for me to think that no one cares, but this post hit home for me and helped me realize that I have a God that continues to fight for me, even when I feel too weak to do it on my own. You have no idea how much I was meant to read these words right now, so thank you Jarrid.
Great post….God met me in my depression also. When no one else could say or do the right thing to make it better, and I had no hope to make it go away, He swept in. 5 years ago.
God told me that He specializes in ‘a beautiful mess.’ When I felt like a mess, he came in, and showed His beauty and glory by healing. It seems so long ago, but I can still remember those deep feelings of hopelessness. To anyone struggling, there is HOPE and RESTORATION in Jesus. Cast your burdens on Him for He cares for you!
Praying for you!
Jarrid,
Thank you for this. I hope none of us hold you on a pedestal of perfection. All of us have struggles, and all of us need to trust in God that His plan is so much greater than any of ours or anything we could imagine. God bless you!
Thank you Sharlie. I appreciate your encouragement.
Jarrid,
I really needed this now. Thank you for this post. I think the thing that is most difficult about depression and all mental illness is that there is a stigma attached to it. And no matter what we do, it feels like we did something wrong, which makes it difficult to focus on the unending love of the Father.
Thank you Meghan!
Thanks for this Jarrid. I don’t struggle too much with depression anymore but I did big time in junior high. I also thought about committing suicide. I still fall into depression from time to time, mainly in the form of loneliness. I’m interested to hear your perspective on burnout, kind of the spiritual version of depression, and how to get through it. Great post as always. Keep up the good work!
Thank Ian, I really appreciate it. Praying for you bro.
I’ve battled suicidal thoughts (attempted twice) and self-injury for almost 10 years (and I’m only 20). I’ve heard the phrase “you’re not alone” countless times, but that didn’t do a lot for me. Even if someone’s life was as jacked up as mine (and I wasn’t sure that could be), what did it matter? It didn’t make my pain any less, and it didn’t make me feel more comfortable opening up to anyone. It wasn’t until I really understood the gospel that it clicked for me that I’m not alone because Jesus is always with me. Even in the moments like last month where I decided to stop following Him, He was still there for me. I still don’t seek help or really talk about this stuff outside of the anonymity of the internet, but having a savior I can cry out to has changed my life. While my self-injury hasn’t stopped, I don’t feel as ruled by it as I did because there is something else that gives my life purpose. And most of all, I don’t feel alone because He is always with me.
I am praying for you Laura! I encourage you to seek help from people around you who love you. Jesus is with you, and I am praying for your battle.
Praying for you Laura. God has the power to bring HOPE and PURPOSE to all.
Powerfull! I am going through a major bout of depresion as I type. Me and my fiance have split after 4 years and I fell it id all my fault or having trust issues. Please prau for me
Praying bro! I went through something similar, but GOD is bigger.
Hello pastor Jarrid! I’m Mandy, I am Brazilian, I’m 20 years old. I knew your blog through a friend, and I identified a lot with this post about depression. I was diverted for almost 2 years and almost killed me, but God brought me to mind that He could save me, and then I reconciled with him this past Sunday. May God bless your life, and you remain a powerful tool used by Jesus. And please come to Brazil, young people will like to hear your testimony of life! Peace!
I am a 58 yr old woman. I am a follower of Christ Jesus. I am suffering from depression and anxiety. I am broken and suffering from poor health. I am also on disability for now. I need a place to live. My landlady after six years during this time when I am struggling to tell me she wants me to move out. Please pray for me.
I also have battled depression and one failed attempt at suicide… The thing that has helped me most is understanding God’s Love for me is not based on what I’ve done but on who He is.. We will never be perfect but Jesus is and He does have a plan for our lives even if the world is screaming He doesn’t. We are His Masterpiece and He is molding us into a vessel He can use for His Glory. This life is short as it is and through Christ we can overcome depression and realise we are not alone in this.. God Bless!!!!
Thank you Jarrid for this. Lately I’ve been battling — I’ve called it the blues. My mom has said I’m way too irritable and get angry too easily. But I’m losing my health insurance at the end of June. Because of a preexisting condition I’m uninsurable until January when insurance companies won’t be able to turn me down — what they can / will charge me is another worry. I’m working in a job where I’m one person in a two person office, so I never see anyone at work. I’m grateful I have a job, but it would be nice to see another person sometimes. Also, work is vey slow, so I have to admit sometimes I wonder how long my job will be here. And I live alone. I don’t mind being single, but since I work alone there are days when i have no human contact. And I have gone through surgery and other treatment because of messed up vision in one of my eyes for a year now and my vision is still messed up. When my mom told me I was just too irritable I asked her if she thought I had a reason to be irritable. I know God loves me and for that relationship I’m very, very thankful, but sometimes I wonder how much longer can I hold on. Thank you again for your ministry.
Very nice message Jarrid!!
I went through the same last year.I was suicidal.I had to go through it for more than 8 months,Each day was terrible.I used to write suicidal notes each night and put them under my pillow.I was totally hopeless.I used to wake up everyday and look forward to nothing.But deep down inside i knew that God cared ,and loved me,and I was right,He came and delivered me from all my fears and depression.He intervened at the right time and gave me a new Life.I had a supernatural experience.During the time of my struggle,I even questioned God’s existence.But i was Wrong,God is very REAL.I have felt HIM.He gave me the peace and joy that i can not explain in words.He is Love.I am a new Creation now.my new life belongs to Him.HE IS REAL.and He has a plan for your LIFE!!!!! He changed my Feelings and thoughts.He has totally given me a new mind.I have such a balanced and relaxed mind.He has blessed me with so much.He is the most Faithful Friend and Father u can ever imagine! His love is unconditional.He caressssssssssss!! He Lovessssssss!!
Thanks Jarid. GBU
Hi,
I’m 16 years old and suffer from scrupulosity, this makes me incredibly depressed and scared.
I have also suffered from anxiety since i was 4. These thoughts are so horrible i feel to kill myself, and i’ve been battling with this hole in my heart for so long and i feel like i have so many woons that are just getting bigger and bigger. I don’t no what to do
Please pray for me,
I really need the support :)
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Wow Jarrid. It’s like you’ve looked into my life and written about it. I have been going through depression and thankfully now I am coming slowly out the other side. It is so encouraging to read this.It takes guts to tell people but equally sharing such things brings freedom to so many others who feel their alone. I suppose that’s depression’s biggest weapon but the glory God gets when he brings you through is an incredible blessing. May God continue to bless your life!!!
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Thank you for this post. I have often felt guilty for being depressed like I didn’t have enough faith or somehow let God down. And also from the stigma of others who didn’t understand that just said “snap out of it!”. I have gotten over the hill! Finally coming out and the sad part is that its because I believed lies about myself. Thank the Lord for His truth!
thanks for writing this blog… I have suicidal thoughts for 4 years now, failed attempting many times because I was scared… God is working on my now. and I know I’ll get through it. together:)
with love from The Netherlands
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