Being Single Isn’t A Disease |

Being Single Isn’t A Disease

Being Single Isn’t A Disease

Being Single Isn’t A Disease

No matter who you are, where you live or what age you are, the idea of finding your future spouse is a topic that never seems to leave the conversation. The focus on marriage is something that’s shoved down the throats of individuals from the time they are in their teens. And while it may seem innocent and fun, the pressures put on people in today’s culture to get married are overwhelming and harsh.

People act as if life cannot be fulfilling while you are single. And while I am a happily married man, I would encourage you not to get married just because you have people pressuring you to do so.

Don’t get me wrong. Marriage is incredible! But I’d encourage you to wait until you’re ready rather than jumping into something you don’t have a peace about. There is so much you can experience during your time of singleness. Embrace it.

It’s an opportunity to grow, learn, and experience life in a way that you can’t once you are married. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. And don’t let your married friends allow you to feel inferior just because you don’t have a man or woman by your side.

  1. Don’t let people pressure you into getting married.
  2. Don’t let anyone trick you into thinking being single is a flaw.
  3. Don’t let anyone make you think being single is inferior.

If you are single, you’re just where God want’s you to be. And until He prompts you otherwise, don’t stress out about your current relationship status. Don’t let your singleness hold you back from accomplishing great things. And don’t let the consuming topic of marriage ruin what God has in store for you right now. Remember, even Jesus, Mother Teresa, and the Apostle Paul were single.

—Jarrid Wilson

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What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

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91 Comments

  • Shelby January 22, 2014 at 11:50 AM

    It’s hard when you thought you had the one and one day she decides she’s no longer happy with you. I wish I knew what I could do to feel better, but nothing really seems to serve as a true consolation. I don’t like doubting Him, but this is definitely a moment where it’s hard to see any light at the end of this sad and lonely tunnel.

    • Helen Schirmer March 16, 2017 at 12:13 PM

      Amen sister. Your situation is real. Getting a divorced is rejection. I would say marriage counselors are low on clients these says as very few marriages, even Christian marriages are not being salvaged at a good rate even when prayers are offered to God. Divorce from adultery is so common and is accepted in church today. The stigma is removed from the instigators of divorce. I came to the realization it is up to myself to make the effort to find a partner. God never provided spouses in the Bible other than Adam and Eve. Even Hosea who was told to pick a spouse from among prostitutes, still had to pick by his own choice. Of course, he picked the most beautiful one in the land for himself. All the single Christians waiting on God for a spouse are waiting in vain. Marriage is no longer viewed as good to attain by many Christian single men. They won’t pursue. They satisify themselves with viewing porn. No hassle or compromise with live women relationships. Porn women are always compliant and don’t have to be pleased. How convenient is that? All the risks of marriage are whisked away.
      Most churches remain silent

  • johnhughmorgan3 January 22, 2014 at 11:20 AM

    I’ve come to the conclusion that the number one thing preventing unmarried people from reaching their potential is the people surrounding them – especially the family-worshiping church. So if you want to get to the root of the problem, I would suggest directing some energy towards the source of the problem.

    • Jarrid Wilson Author January 22, 2014 at 11:32 AM

      Definitely and thought provoking idea!

    • Ada January 22, 2014 at 11:55 AM

      How true!!!!!!!! You find them giving married people more responsibilities like being single is tantamount to you’re having failed in life. It infuriates me as much as it saddens me. Sometimes as a single person you tend to work extra hard to be taken seriously and it’s just wrong.

    • Christopher Bessey January 22, 2014 at 6:06 PM

      Totally agree with this. Everything in society tells singles that they are worthless if not in a relationship. The more terrible truth is that this is also a message spread by the church as well (albeit, not explicitly so). May God raise up a church with fearless singles, who live lives that show where their treasure REALLY is.

  • erikatheencourager January 22, 2014 at 11:18 AM

    Thanks! I think this is a great post!

  • Cecile January 22, 2014 at 10:57 AM

    Great insight on “Singleness”!

  • Katie January 22, 2014 at 10:56 AM

    It amuses me that these sorts of articles are always written by people who are married.

    “I know you want what I have, and duh, because it’s awesome, but it’s okay if you don’t have it, you can just focus on serving God over there and it’ll work out for you one day if it’s His will,” says the person going home every night to someone who will sit at the table and eat dinner with him, someone who will hug him when he’s had a long day, someone to poke him until he laughs when he’s being uber-serious and all up in his head about something.

    Soooo comforting.

    What I’d much rather hear from a happily married person re: singleness is: If you’re single and really wishing you had someone in your life, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that hasn’t happened for you, for whatever reason. I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened, and I don’t understand everything you’re thinking and feeling and living, but I love you and care about you, and am committed to keeping you as part of my “family-by-choice”, not because it’s a consolation prize and I pity you, but because you are genuinely someone whose presence in my life is important and valuable. I am praying for you, and I am praying that God will bring someone into your life, and quickly, because I know that it’s something that is on your heart, and of utmost importance and concern to you, and friends and family pray for one another – that’s what we do. Now, do you have plans for watching DA on Sunday night? Why don’t you come have dinner and help us put the kids to bed, and then we can watch together?

    But no one writes *those* kinds of posts…

    • Jarrid Wilson Author January 22, 2014 at 11:01 AM

      Hey Katie,

      I’m sorry you feel that way about the post. The voice I am speaking through is one of sincerity and encouragement. God will provide for those who are looking to be married, and I am sympathetic towards those who are desperately searching for the “one.” This post is to drown out the lies of people who make singleness to look like a flaw. My goal is to encourage those who are single and an empower them to realize their worth isn’t in in a future marriage. They have worth now, today, and forever. :)

    • danielleborer January 22, 2014 at 11:49 AM

      Hey Katie,
      I am single, and yes while it sucks sometimes, and I get really lonely and do desire to have a relationship with a man someday, I know right now is not the time for me, while I may think yesterday was perfect timing, God sees otherwise, and I have to trust that in HIS timing he will bring a man into my life that I am supposed to spend the rest of it with. I am sorry your view on this is one of frustration, but I do have a lot of married friends and they still hang out with me, even though some do not. Granted I cannot base my happiness on what others do, only how I view it.
      I have challenged myself to view this season of singleness in my life, although it has been very long, as a beautiful season and one, like Jarrid said above, for growth, learning new things and to experience a lot that I may not be able to if I was in a relationship.
      Let God love you and overwhelm you with his never ending love.

      I personally am very grateful for this post, because it is a good reminder to change my perspective on being single.

    • Ada January 22, 2014 at 12:12 PM

      Hi Katie,
      I can understand where you are coming from being single myself but common your above description of marriage exists but is not always the first thing to pop into people’s minds when they think of their marriage/home while on the other hand that’s what most single people expect will be most/all the time.
      Having said that do look at the above post as from the point of view of someone who’s been there, done that and so knows that living your single days in limbo till you finally “get a life” aka marriage is just not on. People miss out on the best of life as an individual because all/most of their decisions are guided by the hopes/plans/dreams of meeting their life partners. Trust me when i tell you i have seen really severe cases of this and this just piles on too much pressure on the marriage when it finally comes as it hardly ever meets the ridiculous expectations they have of it.

    • Brian Anderson January 22, 2014 at 1:00 PM

      Hi Katie! I can understand to a certain degree where your coming from so please hear my testimony. I was saved about 7 years ago, and not long after I met a person who I thought would be a great match for me. She was a Sunday school teacher and was a ‘Christian’ many years. We had great conversation and spent lots of time together. Unfortunately, we didn’t follow God’s order and were sexually active before marriage. The truth is, I had put finding a woman ahead of God in my life. I paid a terrible price too. A horrible 5 year marriage, which I’m soon to file for divorce. Please hear me..ITS MUCH WORSE TO BE MARRIED AND ALONE THAN SINGLE AND ALONE. I’m not bitter at all, I got the consequence of my choice. I’m now walking close with the Lord and have grown spiritually tremendously. Marriage IS a great blessing when done the way God says to. But the moment you put it before God it will be a terrible curse on your life. You really have to be honest with yourself and evaluate what’s #1 in your heart. I didn’t think at the time I was doing that, but at the alter on my wedding day when my bride walked down the isle and the Pastor was next to us, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was NOT supposed to be there that day. I hope you can learn from me and not go through something similar. If you pursuit God with ALL (not most) of your heart, God WILL bring a man of God who will be a blessing to your life rather than a curse.
      God bless you Katie
      -Brian

    • Louisa January 22, 2014 at 4:17 PM

      Hi Katie,
      I was single until I was 36 and while I can understand your feelings, I’m glad that Jarrid posted this article. I would be less than honest if I said that I did not struggle with my singleness for the last few years before I met my husband. The simple truth was that my husband was not a Christian for many years before we met and when he finally committed his life to the Lord, the Ultimate Matchmaker brought us together even though we were living 450 miles apart. I feel that my “long” season of singleness has made me more sensitive to the singles in my church, praying for them, and have opened my home to them on numerous occasions. I’ve learned that when it seems that our lives are stuck in some kind of holding pattern, that God is working on some tiny, but important detail that must be resolved before He can answer the prayer. I pray that God brings you the desires of your heart!

    • Christopher Bessey January 22, 2014 at 5:59 PM

      Katie, anyone who is married can write a post on singleness. Why? Because everyone was single at one point in time.

      This is coming from a 26-year-old single, who has never had a girlfriend or has never been kissed.

      There has been times of trying in my life, but ultimately, I find my ultimate joy from God. Trying to find ultimate joy anywhere else will leave you in ruin.

      Marriage isn’t about you OR your spouse. It’s about coming together to display the glory of Christ and also to enjoy each other to the end of glorifying and worshiping the Creator.

      I love how Matt Chandler puts it:
      “In 10,000 years, it will not matter what you did not have or do in this life.”

      So if you want it from the mouth of a single, this is from me to you: Jesus is better than ever getting married. We should use this season of singleness in glad submission to God’s work here on earth.

      And I would continue to be single for years to come if it could get you to understand how much better God is, and how much better it is to offer our singleness to Him! Please cry out to Him and look to Him for all your satisfaction! I know how hard it can be! Stay strong in Christ!

      And personally, as someone striving for Holiness, I would NEVER marry someone who could not be satisfied in Christ and Christ alone. I would hope that you could strive for that as well, even though it will be tough (as it has been tough for me).

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