5 Steps To Becoming Marriage Material

WARNING: This might get you an awesome spouse.

Here are five steps to becoming marriage material. 

1. Know who you are.

– Knowing who you are is key. The last thing you want to do is go into a marriage thinking it will fix your identity problems. Although being a husband or wife will definitely play a role in WHO YOU ARE as an individual, you need to realize that you must first have a personal foundation to build upon. Begin evaluating who you are, what you do, and exactly what your purpose is. Knowing your purpose is a wonderful start to becoming grounded in personal identity, and it will take you a step forward towards becoming an excellent catch. Read (2 Corinthians 6:18)

2. Say goodbye to mommy and daddy. (Directed more towards the men) 

– Recent studies show that the average person doesn’t move out of their parents house until they are 24-26 years old. This doesn’t mean that these people aren’t mature or responsible, but I can tell you that the experience of living on your own is something that cannot be taught while living with ones parents. Moving out on your own will play a big part in taking ownership of yourself. The responsibilities you encounter in life will not only help you in your personal growth, but they will also help prepare you for a future with someone. Say goodbye to mommy and daddy, jump into the real world, and start building your responsibilities from the ground up. Respect your future spouse enough to grow in maturity and knowledge. Family hardships and medical reasons are obvious exceptions to this step. Read (1 Timothy 5:8)

3. Learn how to manage. 

– Understanding how to manage your time, money and energy will not only help you as an individual, but could also help you avoid potential arguments on these topics in the near future. Having management skills will not only show people you are diligent, but that you also put time and effort into the things you care about. Most married couples will tell you that money is the biggest topic of discussion when it comes to arguments. And although these arguments can’t always be avoided, going in to a marriage or relationship with management skills will always be a plus on someones radar. Read (Proverbs 21:5)

4. Admit when you are wrong.

– This is one of my biggest pet-peeves, and also one of my biggest flaws. Although I still struggle with admitting when I am wrong, the struggle is nothing compared to how I once was. Pride can be something that can ruin a friendship or relationship before they even begin. And although not everyone is perfect, nobody wants to be with someone who thinks that they are. The reality of life is that you are going to be wrong sometimes! Even though sometimes it’s really annoying to admit it, confessing your mistakes will show a sense of humility to those around you. Drop the pride. Nobody wants to marry an arrogant know-it-all. Read (Proverbs 11:2)

5. Honor and respect.

– I’m positive there are thousands of books on the shelves that unpack this topic on a much deeper level than I can, but the reality of it’s core is pretty simple. You will need to learn how to honor and respect those around you if you are looking to be taken seriously. It’s tough to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and it’s even tougher to love somebody who doesn’t honor you. Take time to learn the disciplines of love and respect. Any guy or girl who is serious about getting married will always be on the lookout for someone who is honorable and respectful. Read (1 Peter 2:17)

– Jarrid Wilson



What else would you recommend? Leave a comment below.

Published by Jarrid Wilson

Husband, Father, Pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship & Author of a few books.

28 comments on “5 Steps To Becoming Marriage Material”

    1. I just read through Follow Me by David Platt, and he speaks A LOT on the topic of knowing your purpose. He writes that many Christians always ask God to show them their purpose, and being on this earth. When in reality, God’s purpose and life story is all in the Bible. If we are in God’s will, our plans in life will be fulfilled (in the Lord’s timing). Also, that our first purpose is to glorify God and to make disciples of Jesus. After this, all that the Lord wants to add or take away in our life will be done, as He allows. Food for thought, hope this helps! (:

  1. I have a friend that is still doing number 2 (living at home) for the reason that she wants to save money so she can be financially ready for when she happens to get married. What do you think Jarrid?

    1. I am taking over the comment thread here LOL! (Sorry Jarrid!!!)

      Me and my girlfriend/soon to be fiance are in this place, too. She is just saving money for the wedding. I am living on my own and doing the same. We know this was the best move as she can put money she WAS putting to rent, to our wedding and the like.

      I think the point being made here is this – you MUST know how to live on your own. My fiance/girlfriend lived on her own for 2 years before moving back to save up for wedding and the like. She pays for all her own things, but just lives under her folks’ roof to save cash.

      I don’t see an issue with that.

  2. Thanks Jarrid, I definitely needed the reminder, especially of number 1! I just lost my day job and my evening one is a temp job, up at the end of the month. So, thank you!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.