5 Characteristics You Need In A Spouse

The following are 5 Characteristics You Need In A Spouse

1. Driven.

There is nothing more frustrating than being with someone who has no drive, no matter the circumstance. When it comes to looking for a spouse, seeking after someone who is driven is something you don’t want to look past. You’ll appreciate someone who has a drive to get better, take criticism, work harder, and take advice. This will be greatly beneficial in your relationship, and it will save you from having to pry this person off the couch in the future. (Proverbs 21:5)

2. Has a gentle spirit.

Being with someone who is quick-tempered is my fear for many people. This characteristic is not only one that can ruin marriages, but it can also ruin the relationships you and your spouse have with the friends and family around you. The opposite of quick-tempered would be searching for someone who has a gentle spirit. You’ll appreciate a spouse who is easy to talk to, doesn’t blow up when things get tough, and also monitors the way they talk to you. Gentle-spirited people tend to speak in ways that will always bring you honor and respect, no matter the issue or situation. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

3. Puts you before themselves.

The second I said, “I do” was the second I vowed to put my wife before myself. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who only thought of themselves, and frankly that’s the opposite of what marriage is supposed to be. You need to find someone who is willing to think about you and your relationship with one another before they think about how situations will affect them alone. Once you’re married, no one should continue living a life that resembles a bachelor or bachelorette. (Philippians 2:3)

4. Supports your goals and aspirations.

We all have goals, dreams, and aspirations. Wouldn’t it be miserable to be with someone who didn’t support them? The frustrations and insecurities that derive from a spouse not being supportive can bring someone to the point of depression. It would be hard to be with someone who doesn’t support what you are passionate about, and I would encourage marrying someone who is. Be open and honest about what you feel God has called you to do in life, even during the first few dates. If they can’t support your dreams, I wouldn’t allow them to support you in marriage. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

5. They will love you unconditionally.

Love should not be conditional, transactional, or partial. Don’t settle for someone who only loves you when they find it convenient. This goes beyond just saying “I love you.” The broad spectrum of love includes the much needed emotional support, physical touch, encouragement, and selflessness. Saying, “I love you” is great… But viewing love as a verb is what will forever keep your marriage strong and healthy. (1 John 4:18)

– Jarrid Wilson


What are some other characteristics you should look for? Leave a comment below.

Published by Jarrid Wilson

Husband, Father, Pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship & Author of a few books.

34 comments on “5 Characteristics You Need In A Spouse”

  1. I suppose this fits in with #5, but I would add loves you not just in spite of your flaws, but because of them. Its too easy to hold ourselves to unrealistic standards set by the world; not just physically, but financially, emotionally, and the like. I find the more I embrace the imperfections of my husband, embracing and accepting him for the real, normal, flawed person he is, the easier it is to accept the same of myself, as I see how he loves me right back.. and the more in love I fall.

  2. Leaders are readers. I wanted a wife that was well read. If she was willing to read great books, she would stay driven, motivated and educated. Of course that would bless our marriage and our children.
    On our first date we started talking about books. At the time she was reading a huge and difficult book. I was ‘in love.’ That one habit has made a huge difference in our life together.
    This month our sixth baby will join our family and in March we will celebrate 13 AWESOME years together. I feel so blessed! We travel all over the world as a family and life is FANTASTIC!

  3. What I try to look for is really understanding the heart of my significant other. While one can do all the “right” things, understanding their true motives and intentions are important (Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45) . For me this goes into understanding what they’re passionate about and even how they’ve been hurt in the past, things they still deal with and the overall current condition of their heart. I personally want to be honest at all times with my significant other about the sentiment of my heart as I believe true transparency in the core intentions and feelings behind an action is key to producing honest relationships. Once both parties are honest and upfront with one another, God can work more easily without us blocking His will with our fear or stubbornness. In all, I would say a characteristic I would add is one whose honest and transparent

  4. After 33 years of marriage, I would add other things to the list, such as a firm assurance and trust in the Lord, a sense of humor, and common goals. Also an understanding and commitment to the eternal covenant of marriage.

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