10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Married

Marriage is a BIG decision. Here are 10 questions to ask yourself before getting married.

1. Why am I getting married?

This question seems fairly simple, but the possible answers can stir up some much needed truth. Marriage isn’t something that should be taken lightly, and your reasoning for getting married shouldn’t be either. Make sure this decision is something you’ve prayed over and thoroughly discussed.

2. Can I easily live without this person?

Can you see yourself without this person? If the answer is yes, then you may want to re-think your future with them. If the thought of your spouse with someone else doesn’t bother you, marrying them may not be the best idea. If you’re supposed to be with this person, God will instill a relentless love in your heart for them.

3. Am I better off with, or without this person?

Do they make you a better person, or do they bring out the worst in you? The last thing you want to do is marry someone who doesn’t bring out the best in you. Ask yourself whether you are better of with or without them.

4. Am I willing to put someone before myself?

Can you see yourself with this person fifty years down the road? If the answer is no, then I would re-think your decision to marry them. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that requires a daily pledge to love one another, regardless of how long you’ve been together. If you can’t put the needs of your future spouse before yourself, it may be time to end the relationship before it goes any further.

5. Do I find myself already questioning the marriage?

Have insecurities already begun popping in your head? Don’t worry. This is pretty common for anyone who is thinking about getting married. The red-flag is when these insecurities turn in to a lack of peace. If you don’t have a peace about getting married, then don’t do it.

6. Is he or she ready to be married?

Is your boyfriend or girlfriend ready to be married? Don’t jump the gun if you aren’t sure they are mentally and spiritually ready for commitment. This is where the dating process comes in! Take time to learn about one another before jumping into marriage.

7. Am I ready to be married?

Ask yourself this question with honesty and transparency. Are you spiritually and mentally ready to be married? Have you prayed over your future together? Are you at peace with the decision placed in your heart?

8. Will this person support my dreams?

The last thing you want to do is marry someone who doesn’t support your goals and dreams. Make sure that who ever you marry will be there to encourage you through thick and thin, no matter how crazy your ambitions are.

9. Do we share similar beliefs and passions?

If you have nothing in common, this might make your future marriage a bit harder to handle. Mind you, not everyone is going to have the same passions as you, but I would encourage you to marry someone who you can at least find similar beliefs in. There is nothing more encouraging than being in marriage with someone who understands your life passions and beliefs. The last thing you want to do is be in a marriage with someone who doesn’t have the same background of faith as you. Find someone you can share your love for God with.

10. Do I deserve better? 

This one might be a little harsh, but marriage is one of the few times in life you can be as picky as you’d like. Consult yourself, your friends, and your family. Pray and seek God’s wisdom as to whether or not this person is right for you. Don’t settle for mediocre when God has something marvelous for you.

– Jarrid Wilson


What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

Published by Jarrid Wilson

Husband, Father, Pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship & Author of a few books.

28 comments on “10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Married”

  1. Thanks for this post, Jarrid! Right down the ally of what I like to share with our Future Marriage University (FMU) community (and so I will be at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity)!

    1. Why am I getting married?

    Nuf said.

    Totally recommend Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Search, on that very issue. AND DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE SERIOUSLY DATING TO READ IT! Go ahead and read it BEFORE you fall in love. http://www.garythomas.com/.

    Even better, I recommend people ruthlessly question why they want to DATE before they date. If you date for the wrong reasons, you’re likely to marry for the wrong reasons. Here’s the opening post introducing the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date: http://f-m-u.com/Blog/introducing-the-top10-dumbest-reasons-to-date/.

  2. Thanks Pastor Wilson for such an amazing post! I’ve been looking to obtain wisdom and knowledge as I do want to get married and reading and absorbing as much wisdom as possible. Keep inspiring!

  3. Praise God for this post! Thank you so much. I’m still a young’in but it helps to know what I’ll be thinking about these upcoming years. God bless you Pastor!

  4. Can you expound on #2? I think every person is whole as they are, and capable of living without a spouse, but I’m guessing this isn’t what you meant here. Curious for more thoughts! :) Great post.

    1. I think what he meant is not the capability to live a life without somebody but rather to when you love someone, do you really love him so you want to share your life with him (your happiness, your sadness, etc) or just a lust so it’s really okay to live without him actually. This is what i think. Anyone have different opinion maybe or Jarrid himself would make it clear?

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