10 Differences Between Dating A Boy Vs Dating A Man

10 Differences Between Dating A Boy Vs Dating A Man

10 Differences Between Dating A Boy Vs Dating A Man

There is a big difference between boys and men. Whether those differences be spiritual, physical or mental, they are irrefutably noticeable in the way someone lives their life.

1. A man will own up to his mistakes. A boy will make excuses for them.

2. A man will respect you no matter the circumstance. A boy will respect you when he wants something in return.

3. A man will respect your purity. A boy will let his desires control him.

4. A man will do whatever it takes to provide. A boy will make excuses as to why he can’t provide.

5. A man will prepare for the future. A boy lives in the moment.

6. A man looks to gain the respect of your family. A boy look to gain popularity from people around him.

7. A man is firm in his beliefs. A boy changes his beliefs depending on the girl.

8. A man has integrity. A boy makes promises he knows he cannot keep.

9. A man will always take an opportunity to learn. A boy thinks he knows everything.

10. A man seeks more than just beauty. A boy seeks beauty so he can show off.

– Jarrid Wilson


What are some other differences? Leave a comment below.

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  • Jenna June 9, 2015 at 5:11 PM

    Lovee this. :)

  • Anonymous Aesop March 16, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    That is so true… :(

  • NaemiOona February 18, 2015 at 3:45 PM

    thanks ♡ I needed to read this..

  • Robyn November 8, 2014 at 12:03 AM

    Yes Lord knows I wasted a ton of time, money & energy for a boy many years. When I finally gave that up, God put a MAN in my life that showed me a whole new world. Praise God!!!

  • Karen September 28, 2014 at 4:22 AM

    AMEN!!! Thank you Jarred for posting this. It’s been 8 years since I’ve been with a man after my traumatic divorce. God has sent me a godly man who has all these qualities. Please pray for “us” that we may endure any obstacles in our relationship. I almost lost hope that these kind of men still exist. Love is patient and God will always give you what you need and not what you want. Keep up the good work and may God always bless you and your wife.

  • Terry July 15, 2014 at 2:52 AM

    Amen Cereline ! Pastor is right on target. I have lived every thing he just stated and it has been a horrific abusive controlling un Godly marriage for 26 years. EVERYONE READ THE WORD. God designed marriage and He knows what works.

  • zack davis July 4, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    Boys dont respect women cause if they had Jesus then Jesus could teach them how to treat His daughters and to me treating a woman right is showin Jesus that they are a blessing and that they are more than just a object they have feelings and a mind of there own and a heart that cares and a personality that can make anybody laugh and a great friendship can come out of it and girls are meant to be a support just like the guys are women are the care takers and the guys are the spiritual leaders and protecter and provider for the family

  • Genesis June 16, 2014 at 10:24 PM

    I needed this..❤️

  • jaimermeeks June 16, 2014 at 7:38 PM

    I always enjoy these posts. Thank you.

  • Tea June 16, 2014 at 7:11 PM

    I love this and it’s incredibly true. My fiance’ is a man and a guy who I wasted (but learned from) my time with a few years ago was definitely a boy. Also, a man will apologize and a boy will blame you. Ladies, remember there ARE good men out there still, don’t let the boys ruin your hope for a Godly man.

    • marta June 17, 2014 at 6:16 AM


  • Gregor Salto April 9, 2014 at 2:44 PM

    Coming from a guy, this stuff is all true but I find it ironic/hilarious that the girls I’ve personally seen post this and things like this on facebook are the immature and attention-seeking type who are far from being able to call themselves “women.”

    • Kennedy April 28, 2014 at 1:35 PM

      Who are you to judge the life I live- Bob Marley sounds like you need to make sure your hands are clean. Your assumptions seem so small minded, so from me, piss off

  • Daniel Wild April 4, 2014 at 12:55 AM

    everyone who feels offended by this, doesn’t know they’re identity. without that, I doubt you being a man!

  • Binky March 5, 2014 at 6:39 AM

    It’s disappointing to read most of these comments. If the people commenting don’t agree with the statements Pastor Jarrid made, why are you here? Just to criticize? I agree with Pastor Jarrid’s comments because if a man has integrity and is godly he will want to be like Jesus. Jesus is about respect, treating others the way you would want to be treated and loving one another, not selfish ambitions.

  • Dan Farr March 4, 2014 at 10:03 AM

    Would be better if they replaced the word ‘man’ with ‘adult’ and ‘boy’ with ‘juvenile’. I’m getting real tired of the notion that all women are automatically good people just because of their gender.

    • Chriss March 9, 2014 at 4:36 PM

      This piece is specifically about males. He had another one regarding the differences between dating a woman and a girl.

    • Bonnie Meznarich April 2, 2014 at 8:10 PM

      The issue in this article IS man vs boy. It makes it too vague to change up the terms. However, you are correct about all women not being automatically good just because they are women…..maybe someone needs to write up 10 differences between a little girl and a lady! ;)

  • teodora March 2, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    i know 50 years old boys ..every man needs a strong woman . maturity comes late to some of them

  • you don't know what women want. February 27, 2014 at 4:04 PM

    Jesus dude, you need your man card revoked immediately.

    • Kyle March 1, 2014 at 6:27 PM

      you obviously lost your man card a while ago. if you cant say something nice then don’t say anything at all. that simple.

    • A Woman March 1, 2014 at 7:59 PM

      you’re obviously a boy….thinking something as stupid as ” man cards” are given out.

    • Seth June 6, 2014 at 1:00 PM


  • Pens95 February 18, 2014 at 9:02 PM

    Pretty sure ur smug condescending attitude and comment makes u seem rather narrow and small minded…

    • andreacapozzi September 30, 2014 at 6:55 AM

      Man card is a metaphor…. As you should only be labeled a man, after your life no longer feels complete staying focused on your own needs! When you can think of a woman’s needs equally, you are ready to be an “us”. Don’t lead a lady on, before you are ready to put her before your social life!!

  • Huntswithwolves February 17, 2014 at 5:48 AM

    Yeah right. I’ve met lots of people and I can say only about 4 of these are true. This should be named a “Woman’s perfect man,”
    4,7,9 and 10 are bang on though.

  • Tracy in MN February 14, 2014 at 2:59 PM

    A man/woman sees perfection in their mate’s imperfectness. A boy/girl wants perfection already. A boy thinks farting & fart jokes are funny, and a man…oh wait….my husband is 42 and still thinks it’s funny. :) But I still love him, and he loves me!

  • HaveFaithinSanta February 13, 2014 at 11:08 PM

    A child believes in invisible beings in the sky. A man is not so narrow minded.

  • Sandy February 8, 2014 at 9:16 AM

    When the man loves the Lord, reads the bible, obeys and apply’s His truths, even more meaning to the relationship, what scriptures apply to the man in these differences

    • Elaine February 10, 2014 at 10:21 AM

      A man seeks a woman who is after the Lord and helps her grow. He helps her to mature her God given talents and builds her up. A boy seeks earthly riches. A boy will eventually pull you away from God’s work.

    • Jim February 12, 2014 at 3:18 PM

      Are you saying you can’t have a relationship without the lord?

    • Jambo February 12, 2014 at 11:51 PM


    • Jambo February 12, 2014 at 11:51 PM

      I will not bother with a man who doesn’t got abs like Jesus.

    • My my April 3, 2014 at 3:36 PM


  • Heather Jenkins February 7, 2014 at 12:43 AM

    A man would help you and support you in good times and hard times, a boy will make you take all the stress and still never be happy.

    • Cereline February 10, 2014 at 11:37 AM

      So true, some “boys” will even make you take all of HIS stress in addition to your own.

  • Jack February 6, 2014 at 5:35 PM

    Regarding #2…

    A man is secure enough to talk with a woman about BOTH of their desires and feelings. A boy thinks that women are pure and dainty and that they don’t have desires too.

  • jenniweeks February 6, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    A man lets you make decisions for yourself or with him, a boy is controlling

  • Sarah February 6, 2014 at 12:15 PM

    A man has all the time in the world for his women. A boy makes her fight for five minutes alone.

  • dbdhxbdb February 6, 2014 at 9:09 AM

    A boy says “Yummy”, a man says “Yum”! Hahaha

  • jroma February 6, 2014 at 7:58 AM

    a girl will marry the man, and have an affair with the boy. another fella had it right. the girl should grow up into a woman.

  • Ryan February 5, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    Preparing for the future is meaningless if you never live in the moment. Always just preparing to live seems sad. I guess I could do both if I was a man-boy!

  • Lisa February 5, 2014 at 7:47 PM

    A man takes care of the ones he loves. A boy wants to be taken care of.

    • Amy February 6, 2014 at 1:41 PM


  • Matt February 5, 2014 at 2:23 PM

    A man won’t stay with a girl, so grow up and be a woman.

  • Casey C February 5, 2014 at 4:19 AM

    A man respects you enough to not cheat. A boy has no respect.

    • Kate February 5, 2014 at 7:29 PM

      Very much true. I needed to hear that one tonight!

  • Marnus February 5, 2014 at 2:08 AM

    A boy cares whether a pastor thinks he’s a man.

  • Jereme February 5, 2014 at 12:42 AM

    When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. (1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV)

    • Mei Ling February 5, 2014 at 9:43 PM

      Such a good verse.

  • Andrew February 4, 2014 at 10:47 PM

    A man use proper grammar and buy a mansion for her spouse

    • Brian February 5, 2014 at 11:54 AM

      The irony of this statement is hilarious.

    • Indybrendy February 6, 2014 at 1:44 PM

      Say, What?

  • Nick February 4, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    A man doesn’t define himself based on what humans define a man to be, but instead on what God defines Him as.
    A boy defines himself by things that sound good and acceptable in conventional Christian society, that are really common sense.

  • Zach Marino (@zachmarino_) February 4, 2014 at 7:52 PM

    A man pursues the heart of his lover while a boy gives up on the chase.

    • alskdjfskjd February 6, 2014 at 5:32 PM

      Actually, a man respects that a woman can make a conscious decision about who she doesn’t want to date. A man knows that if a woman turns him down, it doesn’t necessarily mean she thinks he’s a disgusting loser. It doesn’t means she’s just being coy. It means she’s not interested. A boy keeps pursuing someone who isn’t interested in him, because he thinks it’s a matter of her needing to be “convinced” rather than her being able to make her own choices.

    • A wife who loves when her husband makes an effort to pursue her :) February 13, 2014 at 7:29 PM

      I agree! Zach says “A man pursues the heart of his ‘lover'”. A lover is someone who is already with him and maybe even married to him. He didn’t say a man pursues the heart of someone who has no interest in him. Please don’t knock his comment. He had a really, really good point!

  • maggie February 4, 2014 at 7:28 PM

    A boy lusts, a man loves.

  • Robert February 4, 2014 at 7:12 PM

    Does “the man get the girl” or “the boy”?

    • Blaise February 5, 2014 at 6:19 AM

      The boy does.

      The man gets the woman.

    • Jam February 5, 2014 at 9:56 PM

      Sometimes he gets the boy and sometimes he gets the girl. It depends on his preferences.

  • LORRIE RIVERA February 4, 2014 at 6:42 PM

    A man will listen and think and a boy just talks with no thought

  • Jaxmin Martinex February 4, 2014 at 4:24 PM

    A man was once a boy. A boy will soon be a man.

  • Lindsay February 4, 2014 at 2:28 PM

    A man loves you for who you are. A boy loves you for how you look.

  • Kristina Pauley February 4, 2014 at 1:22 PM

    A man knows how to save his money. A boy thinks he has to spend it all right away.

  • Kristina Pauley February 4, 2014 at 1:21 PM

    A man is always himself when showing his love for his partner. A boy shuts down when others are around.

  • Annie February 4, 2014 at 8:31 AM

    – Boys makes oversimplified lists attempting to quantify manhood.

    – Men mind their own business, tending to the speck in their own eye while treating other humans with politeness and basic respect.

    • Chris February 4, 2014 at 11:47 AM

      Wow. You really missed the mark Annie.

    • Sara February 4, 2014 at 12:03 PM

      How exactly did Annie miss the mark? She’s absolutely right.

    • Garnet Renaud February 4, 2014 at 1:41 PM

      Good one Annie. This list was stupid, it had some points, when you look at the sum of it all.

  • Bethany February 3, 2014 at 8:42 PM

    People…saving sex for marriage was not something women came up with, it was something Godly men did and still do live by, while society keeps telling people that humans should live according to their desires…people saying that it’s womens’ nonsense is ridiculous…Godly men (and women) understand and seek to live by the concept of purity…not because its a ‘rule’ but because they love God…it’s not a stupid gender battle

    • Gilman February 4, 2014 at 12:21 PM

      Actually, Saving sex till marriage was to preserve the bloodline. Don’t have sex before marriage because the husband wants to secure an heir to his estate. Marriage isn’t about purity, its about inheritance.

      Also, When the bible was written they didn’t have effective prophylactics, therefore, having sex with multiple individuals would increase transmission of disease and lead to a net societal loss. Basically the bible was a bunch of guys getting together saying, “this will make us safer, but how are we going to make them all do this?”
      “I know, lets make a big power and call it God. God will threaten them with eternal torment if they don’t follow the rules in this book.”
      “Great idea!”

    • John W. February 4, 2014 at 12:29 PM

      It says to stay pure in the bible. An keep the temple holy. Your body is the temple

  • Joseph February 3, 2014 at 7:11 PM

    I feel like there are a lot more differences than this, and more relevant ones. This is basically 10 things you might find in a fortune cookie.

  • Leah February 3, 2014 at 4:42 PM

    On the topic of sex: For those of you who are unaware, the bible does state that fornication is a sin and having sex outside of marriage is fornication. Personally speaking, I think sex is unnecessary in a relationship. Yes on one hand, it serves as the “next step” in one’s relationship. But how many people wait to be in committed relationships before actually getting into bed with each other? I think until you are actually married, you should wait and learn to enjoy the company of your significant other. It gives you an opportunity to really get to know who the person is and how you truly feel about them. Besides, it’s also something to look forward to on your wedding night.

    • juha February 4, 2014 at 6:41 AM

      yeah and then you discover that the other half is unable to give you satisfaction in bed.

  • Tom January 23, 2014 at 8:05 PM

    Im 15 and a boy but I have to say that this is really stupid that people are arguing over something like this. Clearly this is not about males in particular, this is about being a good human being. Neither Male nor Female should disrespect each other, or make excuses, but I have read the comments and the main issue seems to be the purity difference. This needs to be seen from a different perspective for women and vise versa for the men. Sex is a way to say I really value and cherish you and plus the pleasure works both ways. Sex is a form of pleasure, and a large form of it I may add, without sex the only pleasure that would be between a man and a women would be things like laughter and things like back rubbing I guess. So Sex is vital for every relationship, and without sex in ones relationship, it would be useless and boring. Sex should not be withheld, because even if one had a long relationship and waited till marriage, that would be the reason that man got married, not because he loved spending time and chatting, and not just so that he can provide for her, he is interested in sex. Saving yourself is worthless and it makes your marriage much more hollow and brittle. Peace out.

    • Martin January 27, 2014 at 7:27 AM

      15 years old boy is lecturing about importance of sex…well…that is some progress of modern age ;) but don’t take me wrong – I am not responding to laugh down at your belief…
      I am 25 and I strongly believe, that heart’s desire is immeasurably more important than body’s desire. If it is not at least immeasurably stronger, than there is NO VALUE in any relationship, sexual including. Actually – there is no value in our life too, but you will realize once (and even if you will believe “this is it” after first or second realisation, in reality it will be only after you realize, this time it never ever wear off…)
      I saved myself from my own desire to stay pure till I meet my my second half. Every time i had oportunity to have sex I looked at the person and if there was the slightest possibility she is not THE ONE, if there was smallest doubt about what I have is eternal and embracive I let that oportunity go.
      Sex is beutiful and benefical, but when you love, your LIFE is at stake, actualy, your life is bound with happiness of the one you love and nothing is important in front of that desire, not even your own happiness, nor sexual desires ;)
      BTW – these are not dreamer’s words, all of them are part of my daily life…;)

    • Lori February 3, 2014 at 3:51 PM

      How is saving myself worthless if it’s what the Lord wants? I should just give it to every boy I date? How is that special?

    • Kell February 3, 2014 at 3:54 PM

      You don’t know what love is.

    • Craig February 3, 2014 at 6:52 PM

      Okay, Tom, run along now.
      I think you’ve made mommy’s keyboard sticky enough for tonight.

    • George February 3, 2014 at 9:45 PM

      Well at least your honest but you are kind of proving the case here about boy vs man.

    • seema February 3, 2014 at 10:27 PM

      SEX is just a temptation. i’m 19 and i always thought the only thing guys are interested in is sex so i just kept guys on a friend level. I am in the longest and most serious relationship i have ever been in and its only been 6 months :) he is 21….we do things together.. go out ..and enjoy every moment spent together…however i had sex with him…sex is a temptation. i dont regret it…because i love him. i trusted him enough to give him my virginity and he loves me very much :) not having sex in a relationship is yes kinda boring…but say what …its both of yall decisions..:) i made mine is up to you……i cant ask for better..he is d most sweetest and caring person i have ever met…. if ever anything ruins our relationship i will regret it though…because i dont plan on having sex with more than one guys in my life…only Him..:) i dont know what the future has in store for me but im keeping God in my heart knowing that everything will be ok and he will forgive me of all my sins.

    • Jack February 4, 2014 at 6:50 AM

      “Sex should not be withheld”? Are you saying that if a girl or guy wishes to wait until marriage for whatever purpose, that it is okay for someone to pressure and ridicule them into having it just because they are in a relationship? Sex means something different for everyone. I think waiting until marriage has the opposite effect; you aren’t going to wait years and marry someone JUST TO HAVE SEX. That makes no sense. Within your line of reasoning, it would be okay to cheat on someone or leave them because of they stood up for their beliefs of purity or wanted to wait a bit longer than normal.
      Also, take a science course because sex isn’t just for pleasure, it is a tool for reproduction in it’s essence. We live in a culture that depicts sex as necessary and that’s why we feel that way. Yes, it is a natural urge but it should by no means control a relationship.

    • Gabrielle February 4, 2014 at 10:10 AM

      Your 15…. How do you even know what sex is “Tom” ? Another example of the poor society that our younger generation lives in. I’m so scared when I have kids and they have to grow up in this sex, drug, and judgmental world. All I see you keep talking about is sex. And then I see your argument is that people will only get married to have sex, now that is pathetic and really shows that your only 15. You have no idea. People don’t get married to have sex, they get married because they want to spend their life with that other person and they care about that other person more than theirselves, they love them. And when your in a good relationship like that your not having sex, YOUR MAKING LOVE. I hope one day you and everyone knows what making love to the love of your life is all about. Having sex is lustful and is something you would do with people you don’t marry, you don’t love, and with people you where just trying to “go to the next step in your relationship” with. But when your making love to your soulmate, it’s a whole different feeling and a whole different ballpark.

  • matthew Appling January 19, 2014 at 3:34 AM

    A man and a women would know that all of these apply to both men and women. A boy and a girl will try to deflect what this post is actually trying to say

  • Andrew December 19, 2013 at 8:49 AM


    If being a man means forgetting about the beauty of living in the present moment, I’ll stay a boy for now. Thank you.

  • Tony Brown December 12, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    Difference between dating a girl and a woman:
    (a spoof of #2)

    A woman understands that people have urges and sex is a completely natural, and necessary act for human survival, and having it is nothing to be ashamed of.

    A girl will buy into neckbeard lines like ‘purity’ and ‘sex is evil’ and ‘unmarried people shouldn’t have sex because Jesus says so’.

    • Jonas Balili December 14, 2013 at 3:32 AM


    • Franklyn Patterson December 14, 2013 at 6:57 AM

      A man will respect a girl’s desire not to be pawed at without concocting self-righteous drivel to convince her that he, somehow, has the right. Grow up, cupcake.

    • Hannah December 16, 2013 at 3:29 PM

      I totally disagree. Sex is different for men then women and with those differences neither one of us can say we, “understand” the others urges. We (women) understand that having an intimate relationship gives a part of us away. Girls use sex to feel loved (mostly without a consciousness of doing it). Boys use love to get sex hence the term, “she led me on” when regarding a girl not giving a man his desires. To me if a man wants to be with a women he should respect that fact that she only wants to be with one man her entire life. I believe in the bible and God but purity to me is not just about a biblical principle, it is about respecting yourself and your future spouse enough to wait. I think the dedication alone to purity is beautiful and when you are only with one man for your entire life that is simply amazing!

    • Jesse McDonald December 16, 2013 at 10:32 PM

      Jesus never said that.

    • Susan December 21, 2013 at 1:20 AM

      There is a lot to say for doing things just because Jesus says so. Freedom and peace. We should all live that way.

    • Elizabeth December 22, 2013 at 12:17 PM

      Excuse me, but I believe that sex is natural and good for survival, however I choose not to have sex before marriage because I would prefer not to “accidently” end up pregnant and have to raise another human on my own. I’m glad there are moms who can, i just don’t want that life for me.

    • Lori February 3, 2014 at 3:53 PM

      Oh, us poor women don’t understand nature guys HAVE to have sex to live blah blah blah..

  • Natalie Hidalgo December 12, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    how about a list on the difference of a girl and a woman. Girls expect him to read her mind, girls expect him to always make her happy. girls pout when they don’t have constant attention. girls withhold sex in marriage when they want to punish him. Things like this. So many times I have heard a girl say, “I kissed the frog and he didn’t turn into prince charming” Well girlfriend it takes a princess to break the spell. We expect the men to be prince charming when the women can stay selfish and childish..

    • Jack Enthe Beanstalk December 12, 2013 at 4:33 PM

      Whoa. Kick ass Natalie. Love it.

    • BJ Graves December 12, 2013 at 4:58 PM

      If there was a like button, I would hit it.

  • Cato Minor (@KatoTheYounger) December 12, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    Not sure what this has to do with gender. These are broader qualities that apply to adult men and women. It should say “How to be an adult.” I do have issues with the ambiguous words “purity” and “provide,” but I’ll leave that discussion for another crowd.

  • Ben December 11, 2013 at 8:06 PM

    Dude, you can ask my friends that are like brothers and sisters to me, they will say that I am always striving to be exactly like this. I thank you for summing it up so simply! And I may not know your religion, but anyone that is profound as this is always considered to be a friend to me!

  • Joseph E. Volpe December 11, 2013 at 12:48 PM

    God must be first in your life. You must love God first, before you can love a man or woman. Amen.

  • Superdude December 11, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    Not sure if I am a boy or a man because apparently I either have to be some serious, boring person who is praised or some playful person who is ridiculed. But from my point of view, this is very ageist (discrimination on perceived age) and promotes the same masculinity that movies and magazines do. This also instills false hope in women who expect a standard of perfection and “men” who try to live up to it. I expect better from a so called man.

    • Gary Nd Crystal Vest December 11, 2013 at 1:42 PM

      How about this then try’s to be those things but still knows how to fun while being doing what they expressed.

    • YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH December 11, 2013 at 3:45 PM

      If I could upvote this, I would totally upvote this. Upvote.

    • Beth December 11, 2013 at 9:43 PM

      I suppose we can’t expect more of a response from a “boy.” As to this being ageist, I have seen males from age 1 to age 100 who are definately “boys,” and, unfortunately, few males willing to step up and become men.

  • mom of males December 11, 2013 at 10:43 AM

    i like this but as a mother of 3 males I would also like to see one that says the difference between dating a girl and an women. Females have a responsibility in a relationship as well and it seems that all I ever see is what the man should do. Come on we already have to many princesses out there that read all this stuff about how a man is to treat a women lets let these girls know how they are to treat a man.
    Mom Of Males

    • Gary Nd Crystal Vest December 11, 2013 at 1:44 PM

      So true, agree.

    • lisa December 12, 2013 at 9:03 AM

      I agree, and really we shouldn’t expect young men or young women to be all grown up and ready for marriage and settling down.. It will happen and as long as they know what they want for their life and are a hard worker things will happen. And if girls are making their own careers they shouldn’t expect their man to totally provide for them. It’s a joint effort. A partnership!!

    • LaDell December 15, 2013 at 8:33 PM

      I’m also the mom of males. Unfortunately, my boys had someone that set many examples of what NOT to be to a woman so I had to talk to them and explain that I was wrong for enduring many things. By enduring these things, I was teaching them that it was ok. I tell them to to treat their lady with love, respect, loyalty, faithfulness and to be a gentleman. However, I also explained that they deserve the same in return. I’m proud to say that my talks outweighed the things they witnessed. I’ve told them to treat them the way they expect their mom and daughters to be treated. Love my boys!

  • GKoen December 11, 2013 at 9:51 AM

    A man will shout his love for his wife from the rooftops.
    A boy will treat her like she is undeserving of his love.

  • Danod December 11, 2013 at 8:27 AM

    Also, ” A boy seeks beauty so he can show off”–this applies to yourself too. I’m struck by the irony of this line in light of all the glam shots of this pastor all over this site.

  • Danod December 11, 2013 at 8:25 AM

    Gender is a construction. Stop focusing on so-called “manliness.” Most of what this post is trying to get at is mature, adult actions, as opposed to immature ones. Just as males have the responsibility of being mature in a relationship, so too do females. Let’s put the focus off gender, and on to being mature, self-sacrificing, loving adults.

  • ANNA KAMINYOGE December 3, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    thanks for opening my mind!

  • ed December 3, 2013 at 10:46 PM

    Everyone please pray for Morkindie, this human is devoid of the Father.s love and we are to not resist him for we know and were told of the spirit of the anti christ which is at work in him. In JESUS name Amen. Critical thinking will not serve you for nothing when you encounter in your journey through life and after life, the hardships of natural disaster, among other things that are prophesied and WILL happen. But our hope is CHRIST and we will not be ashamed. God bless you. May you find the way back to the source of all life.

  • Taylor O December 3, 2013 at 6:46 PM

    All for the past few days, your posts have been so on point in my life. Two days ago, my boyfriend of 2.5 years decided to end our relationship and it was very unexpected. He has battled major depression for the entirety of the relationship and it definitely took a toll. Thank you for posting such relatable post! They have helped me so much during this difficult and changing time i

  • Karen November 29, 2013 at 6:24 PM

    Thank you for this post. As a mother, we all want what’s best for our daughters. This will be a guide for them on how to find a loving partner.

  • Marsha L Pyles November 27, 2013 at 5:53 PM

    A man will treat his girlfriend like a queen
    A boy will treat his girlfriend like his trophy

  • Aira November 27, 2013 at 2:57 AM

    Exactly ! Hope one day God give me a MAN. Keep it up! :)

  • Andrea November 26, 2013 at 7:54 PM

    I’m a 17 year old girl and I pray that one day God will give me a man and not boy. Really touched.

  • Esther November 25, 2013 at 1:37 AM

    will a man always said no money?

  • Jass November 24, 2013 at 6:17 PM

    Here’s one a man will be considerate to his surroundings ex. A man will open a door for others.
    A boy will only be considered with “me, myself, and I” ex. He will open the door for himself.
    This is for free a real man serves Jesus.
    A boy serves himself.

    • CJ Zanin November 25, 2013 at 11:34 AM

      This is only accurate depending on your religion (assuming you are Christian). Otherwise it is invalid

    • LaDell December 15, 2013 at 8:40 PM


  • notbrainwashed November 24, 2013 at 3:28 PM

    omg. the comments here. 24 years of living as a Christian WASTED. Thank God for Atheism!!

    • Jass November 24, 2013 at 6:12 PM

      Why did you leave?

    • H4>k3d_crypto November 26, 2013 at 12:31 PM

      Hmmmm lets think about that one…..

      “Thank God for Atheism!!”

      How does that work for you?

    • Kate December 3, 2013 at 8:40 PM

      Sorry, Mr. notbrainwashed, but who are you thanking?

    • Bryant December 4, 2013 at 4:46 AM

      as an atheist
      ….now you just wasted your life

  • lilolme November 23, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    Excellent post. AND I want to add that the same facts are true for a mature young lady. Young men, don’t you settle for less, either.

  • Vanessa November 23, 2013 at 7:20 PM

    This post is great! I’m so tired of dealing with men who only think of themselves and ones that are so busy thinking of their response to what I’m going to say that they can’t even begin to HEAR what I am saying. Sadly, now I know why…

  • Neema November 18, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    This was great…it’s great to see that the values that are considered “old-fashioned” are still valued in this generation today.

    • Ray November 23, 2013 at 1:14 PM

      They’re not. My generation is exactly what is expected out of them in this day and age.

  • Gloria November 18, 2013 at 5:06 AM

    A man will stand by you in time of problem
    A boy will simily ran away and never come back

    • sadie December 2, 2013 at 6:07 AM

      A man will never lie to you
      A boy will cover the truth with a lie

  • Scott Lindsey November 17, 2013 at 6:36 PM

    #11. A man uses Logos.

    A boys uses YouVersion.

    • Michael November 18, 2013 at 10:22 AM


  • Ron November 17, 2013 at 3:46 AM

    Jarrid every thing have said is so true and to the point this is the first time I have replied to this and people should think about what you are saying before they respond especially when they really don’t know they’er talking about especially about GOD’s love and everything God has guided and blessed me in so many ways and it doesn’t have to be in a relationship or not just his love has guided me and has given me the respect for woman as friends and also the respect that I have for them is both through his word and also in growth as well without GOD’s love being in the relationship and the leading of the word people shouldn’t venture into marriage in the first place and with that said GOD BLESS the married men and woman out there as well as the single men and woman too

    • moodge November 20, 2013 at 11:57 PM

      so much to glean from ur reaction Ron. i am in a dilemma. i was into an almost relationship with a man who is a Christian like myself. i was lead to believe many good tings but it turns out that he is not over with the woman he says he loves like no other and still love her altho she doesnt believe in the existence of God. yes in love with a unbeliever.. now he puts me in the backseat while he pursues her and trying to make her see his worth.seems like he will make excuses for her and defend her to win her. dunno how to react now. makes me sad of course. anything u can say?

  • Lily November 17, 2013 at 3:12 AM

    Thank you :)

  • jamaencole November 17, 2013 at 2:29 AM

    Great points Jarrid, reevaluating my motives. Thanks for sharing

  • mikeazinger November 16, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    Good points, author; but a boy wears earrings, a man does not.

  • MamaL November 16, 2013 at 11:19 AM

    Our (almost 21 year old) daughter is definitely dating a “boy”, but won’t listen to a word we say! It’s heartbreaking! It is really interesting to see in writing, by a complete stranger, some of the “boy” characteristics we’ve tried to talk to her about!

    • Joie November 21, 2013 at 5:20 AM

      My almost 20’year old is dating a boy. And calls us blasphemous names. And makes her feel like she’s not worthy. It’s been the hardest thing to watch. She doesn’t want to see the verbal abuse even when we have screen shots of the texts messages. Because her messages were coming in on my iPad. Now she’s mad we read them thank God I got them to see what I have thought all along. He dug his own hole.

    • Ann Post November 27, 2013 at 4:56 AM

      Trust me when I say that the more you protest the “boy” , the more your daughter will cling to him. Listen when she is having troubles with him but don’t harp on the “I told you so’s”. Instead ask questions to help her point out how she feels about the situation. Until she can recognize, understand and acknowledge that the “boy” is not worth her time and trouble, she will never leave him.

    • Beth December 11, 2013 at 9:56 PM

      from the perspective of a former young woman/girl (hey, same things apply to females as to males. very few of us really become “women” anymore…)…it may look to you like she is completely ignoring you. but he could have her fooled so that even though she may be trying to listen, she doesn’t see it and believes you to be wrong and frustrating. while you continue to try to show her the real “boy” she is with, continue to be supportive, loving, and there for her. perhaps eventually she will see what you have tried to tell her.

    • Mother of 21 yr old daughter December 16, 2013 at 5:58 AM

      We are in the same situation, even though we’ve done or best to train her in her expectations for a husband, as well as in what she needs to be for her husband. Only a heart change in what a person really believes (not just professes) will the actions (fruits) be received and demonstrated in a true relationship. Keep your hope. If you are a spirit filled Christian vs a Christian in name only (Carnal lifestyle), I know you can hold on with more peace that God knows what He’s doing; even when we can’t see it or like what we see on the outside. Talking to myself too.

  • Keith November 16, 2013 at 9:08 AM

    This is a great list. There is definitely a lack of mature young men in our society. There are, no doubt, many reasons for this – I’m sure we could all point to any of these and give personal experience testimonies, to varying degrees.
    Hopefully, older men see this a “call to arms” to find young men to come alongside and mentor them in the ways of maturity, chivalry, self-sacrifice, and servant leadership. As a teacher and a coach, I see many young men continue in their childish ways through high school and long into their 20’s. Young ladies, who are looking for guys who are ‘marriage material’ are having a hard time finding men of character. They seem to “settle”, then when the responsibility of a family comes, they pass a baton of immaturity to the next generation simply because no one has shown/required maturity from them earlier.
    There are a lot of resources available for those interested in impacting future generations. One that I appreciate is Robert Lewis’s ( http://mensfraternity.com/dr_robert_lewis/ ) book “Raising a Modern-Day Knight”. Great perspective.

  • Cece November 15, 2013 at 11:47 PM

    #11. 1. A man will admit that he dose not know everything. 2.A boy always thinks (or try’s to prove) hes right.

  • MJ November 15, 2013 at 8:03 PM

    I LOVE THIS! BRILLIANT! Definitely sharing with the wise individuals at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.

  • BradyR November 15, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    ‘A man will respect your purity. A boy will let his desires control him.’ I don’t even know what that means. I know it is a scandalous idea, but women are capable of taking responsibility for their sexuality. They don’t actually need men to protect or respect their purity. Men need to spend more time worrying about their own purity and stop judging women based some ridiculous virginity fantasy. I think it is so funny that the idea of men protecting their own purity isn’t anywhere on this list. Actually, it’s not funny, it is typical. It’s just another christian article pretending to teach respect for women, but is actually objectifying them. Women are either pure or impure, valuable or worthless, and all based on their sexuality. Same old thing just a different day.

    • Benjamin November 20, 2013 at 8:33 PM

      In protecting HER purity they are implicitly protecting their OWN. I got that just from reading between the lines, man…

    • Beth December 11, 2013 at 10:03 PM

      In protecting her purity, a man is also protecting his own. If he is not messing around with her, or trying to get her to mess around, he is setting boundaries for himself as well as for her. Women need more MEN who will help to walk beside them and guide them. This does not negate the responsibility of the woman to likewise guard her (and his) purity. It is a two way street.

    • afwe June 17, 2014 at 8:38 AM

      The article means that if a women says no we are not doing it until marriage, it means no we are not doing it until marriage. Got that! Simple

  • Sheri Duff November 15, 2013 at 6:20 PM

    A man will make you the priority

    A boy thinks he is the priority

    • Kristine Charisse V. Meriveles November 16, 2013 at 7:22 AM

      So true! :)

    • M Kirby December 10, 2013 at 10:48 PM

      Life is a process. To make someone else a priority is to sacrifice your own potential at certain ages. Having your own best interest at heart may be selfish, but is somewhat necessary in the pursuit of happiness. That being said, respect for others is paramount. If a guy isn’t in a position to be in a rewarding relationship, it’s best to be upfront about it. Please be careful when making such statements (this goes for everyone) because very, very few ideals can be expressed as maxims and still be held valid.

  • morkindie November 15, 2013 at 2:34 PM

    #s 2, 3, 6, and 7 are wrong.

    2. Purity is just code for virginity, which has no inherent value.
    3. Respect is earned and can be lost. To respect someone unconditionally is insane.
    6. Be honorable. Some will respect you and others will not. When one panders for respect, they don’t deserve it.
    7. Seven is complex. Stand up for what you believe, but one must change one’s beliefs to match the best evidence and not value faith, but reason.

    • Gina November 15, 2013 at 3:11 PM

      Your opinions here are counter to the beliefs of the author and those who value life and honor The Lord. Purity and virginity are vastly different – one being a fact of experience the other being an expression of a persons heart and mind.
      Respect for life and choices is an inherent gift from one mature person to others regardless of circumstance. And beliefs and matters of faith are not all negotiable and fluid. There are many points of both that are unchangable truth. And our unchanging God is the only one who defines what that truth is.
      You disagree with the author, and the experience and revelation of believers like him deem your opinions to be the ones on the wrong side of that truth.

      • morkindie November 15, 2013 at 4:34 PM

        ” And beliefs and matters of faith are not all negotiable and fluid. There are many points of both that are unchangable truth.”

        Beliefs are only rational if they are based on evidence and valid logic. When new evidence comes to light, one must change their beliefs.

        Faith is of no value.

    • Jim November 15, 2013 at 3:28 PM


    • Brian November 15, 2013 at 3:39 PM

      Jim, so in order to counteract his well-placed and thought-out train of thought, you simply say “boy”? Are you trying to make him feel inferior to you, and are you claiming to be a man? If so, calling him a “boy” over the internet seems like a pretty childish thing to do. Maybe you should grow up a bit and stop trying to label others over the internet because they have a differing viewpoint. Good day, sir.

    • Jim November 15, 2013 at 4:05 PM

      morkindie, the mistakes of your boyhood are hanging on and holding you back.

      2. There is a purity of heart and soul that is lost when a girl is treated shabbily. Her virginity is an indicator of the strength she was raised with. Her lack of it, an indicator she was treated shabbily at home and when you replace her father in her life, you won’t like the way she responds to you
      3. You can treat someone with respect whether they deserve it or not. That is to honor your own integrity. If she deserves it or not is for you to decide and you can choose to stay or go.
      6.You simply restated this one. To be honorable is a man. To pander is a boy.
      7. To borrow from #6, be honorable with her as well as her parents. To pander for her affections is fraudulent with the intent of debauching her purity.

    • Jim November 15, 2013 at 4:09 PM

      Brian, I’m sorry. I was typing my addition when you added your reply so it wasn’t visible..

    • Sherry Wang November 15, 2013 at 4:45 PM


    • Gina November 15, 2013 at 7:17 PM

      Morkindie you wrote:
      Beliefs are only rational if they are based on evidence and valid logic. When new evidence comes to light, one must change their beliefs.

      My belief is in Jesus Christ. He is my savior, he not only died for my sins but he sent the Holy Spirit to live inside of me to give me power and to impart wisdom, truth, and even knowledge of the future so that I live an abundant and radically free life here in this world.
      My belief, initially founded in faith alone has changed over time because of new evidence and valid logic that has come to light as you say it must.

      I’ll share a few instances of empirical evidence that have changed my beliefs.

      1. My brother is an anesthesiologist. He was involved in a car wreck many years ago. He spent months in icu and endured many years of surgeries. Years later while visiting in china he had to be medically evacuated back to the states and it was discovered he had a massive mrsa infection. He underwent surgery to remove infected tissue and had a pic line to his heart. After weeks on the last antibiotic available the mrsa was gone only to return a few weeks later. Experts in this infection mapped the fluid filled pocket of mrsa to be 12 inches by 4 inches by an inch thick along his thigh. There was no treatment left. He was given a matter of weeks to live. After scheduling a procedure for two days later to drain the fluid and try and buy him as long as possible we gathered in a prayer session like nothing we’d believed for before. When he went into the hospital the next day the infection was gone. The dr – a non-Christian – couldn’t believe it and ran all the tests again. It was gone. And four years later it has never returned. We have test results and medical records to prove it. Fact. Belief based on prove able evidence.

      2. I was sitting in church one night when The Lord told me to adopt a baby. I laughed and told him he needed to talk to my husband because that wouldn’t fly. I didn’t say a word. No way I was bringing it up. Two weeks later he rolls over one night in bed and says, “Has God been saying anything to you about adopting?” So, I kept arguing with God because we had just gotten out of debt and an adoption costs $30k + and we had no savings yet. So I said to God show me the money and I’ll sign the papers to start the process. And God said back “Sign the papers and I’ll show you the money. “. Finally I quit arguing with God and on a Monday we signed and initiated the process. TheNEXT MORNING my husbands cell rings and a company he had interviewed with 8 months prior was calling. He had turned their offer down. They said they wanted him to take over a different position (the one he had really wanted) and they were going to raise his salary by $35k. The previous offer would have risen his pay by only $6k. He started two weeks later. In less than 12 hours God showed us the money.

      3. In a dream one night God showed my husband our adopted children. He woke the next morning and told us their sexes, their ages, and when we would be home with them. International adoption is a crazy ride and his prophecy of the future seemed impossible. Absolutely impossible. We were 8th in line for siblings which was a wait time of at least two years and he was saying we would be home in 6 months. And you don’t pick the children you give a range and they match you with whatever files comes up next. Everyone laughed at him. But sure enough, through a series of grossly negligent mistakes in Africa and a series of investigations and relinquishments, we came home with a girl and a boy age two and four in the exact month he had heard God tell him. Families ahead of us in line for siblings are still waiting to this day four years later because of slow downs in adoptions to the states. But God knew when our children would come up next and orchestrated everything to make sure they were matched to us. And knowing they were chosen by God to be our children and it wasn’t random or by chance allowed me the strength to survive the next few months of difficult transition. My husband saw them, described them to a t, knew them and knew the future before it happened because The Lord needed us to be strengthened in advance for their arrival.

      4. I was raised in a dysfunctional home. Although my parents knew Jesus they did not submit their lives and welcome the Holy Spirit to give them the power and wisdom and life changing presence to be free in this world. As a result, I also knew God but walked in depression all of my life. Until one night I cried out to The Lord. I knew there must be more than the dead faith I witnessed all around me. Sitting on my couch I had a physical, audible, spiritual encounter with the living God. Like an instant download to my mind and heart he filled me with the knowledge of who I was and how righteous I stood because of Jesus. I had spent thirty five years in utter depression, insecurity and anger. I had endured countless years of counseling and intensive help. Even from Dr Phil. It had all helped me “deal” with the pain but never did anything lasting. But in that one encounter, with a lightning fast download of wisdom about grace and the law and the blood – it was gone. Gone. I was healed. I have never had an insecure thought since. I have dealt with horrible circumstances since that would have broken me before and I am strong and self assured and confident. After thirty five years of knowing my thoughts and thinking a particular way, in an instant I was different. I didn’t do anything or think anything or hear anything different in my human power or might, simply cried out to God and he came and changed me. Healed me completely. I was angry, I was bitter, I was depressed, I was insecure to the lowest degree, and in an instant I was beautiful, confident, righteous, and whole. Everyone around me noticed. I didn’t say anything, thinking it would wear off, but a few weeks later my husband says, “What happened with you? I have always loved you, but lately I REALLY like you too.” I was darkness and then I was full of light. It’s been a long time since that encounter and it’s never worn off. The Lord changed me.

      5. The bible says to test The Lord in one thing, tithing. We believe in tithing. For many years we didn’t. Just this week, because we are teaching a class on finances, I pulled our tax returns for every year we’ve filed since we’ve been married. 17 years. And I felt led by The Lord to make a chart. I listed the year, the % change in our income that year compared to the previous year and the % of our income we returned to God. Every year we gave less than 10% his income went down the next. And every year we gave 10% or more his income went up the following year. The numbers are black and white facts. I was shocked to see it. Thank goodness we believed The Lord years ago and have enjoyed the blessings of increasing wages even through the recession. My belief changed this week. Even though I returned the tithe from faith before, my faith has become sight and I believe even stronger that the word of God is true.

      I could go on and on and on. I could tell you about how The Lord used an experience he took me through with our adopted son here in the states that ticked me off I was dealing with, only to find out a month later God had used it as a training ground for me to travel to Africa and encounter an orphanage with 216 kids suffering horribly from the same sickness. Because of my fresh knowledge I knew the Rx’s and the dosage and the treatment to help them all be cured in a matter of weeks after battling with it for 10 years. Countless medical teams, countless trips to hospitals in Nairobi and God used a lowly housewife from Texas to change their lives. I’m humbled.

      My belief is based on facts. Data with medical records, tax records, and more to substantiate it.
      God is real. He is moving in His people. But he’s not pushy. All he waits for is a broken invitation to enter and he’ll come in full of love, full of grace and change a tiny amount of sightless faith into real tangible experiential life. Free life. Free from sickness, free from worry, free from shame, free from hopelessness and behaviors that hurt people and the people around them.

      • morkindie November 28, 2013 at 7:25 AM

        I have replied to this twice in great detail, but the comments never show.

        Am I being edited?

    • Hellen November 16, 2013 at 3:51 AM

      I just think you don’t understand the biblical language.

      What are purity, respect, honorable and faith for you in the biblical views? The media and the secular world have total difference concept of distorted version from biblical views. The culture from Asia and Western also have different weighs about purity, respect, and honor.

      As my family is Chinese, I grew up in a traditional ways with my grandparents and my dad grew up in the western culture. Yesterday, I had dinner in an Chinese restaurant with my family. As the noodle arrive the table, I help to pick some noodle to my dad’s plate without asking if he wants. In my perspective, I was giving him some respect, but he doesn’t understand neither know about it. He just yells at me, saying he doesn’t want it.

      I’m disappointed. If he thinks I am disrespecting him. I will not grab anything to him any more because he is an ignorant.

      • morkindie November 17, 2013 at 9:07 PM

        I understand that different cultures have different traditions.

        Some traditions are immoral. Some are harmless. Some promote positive behavior.

        “Purity” in the biblical usage of the word, is about the control of women’s sexuality and women’s subservient status.

        It is a concept best left to the past.

    • Keith November 16, 2013 at 9:27 AM

      Hey Morkindie,
      You seem hell-bent on complicating simple wisdom, a simple code. Albert Einstein is credited as saying, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.”

      There was a day when the most noble of soldiers and men lived by a very simple code of self-sacrifice and honor. That ideal, while rare in our day, does still exist. Unfortunately, apathy of too many men has caused that trait to be must less noticeable, and far less honored in our society.
      To rebut your ignorant comments:
      #2 Purity IS code for virginity, and it is also code for ‘no porn’, for ‘no flirting with someone who isn’t your wife’, for ‘no affair after you’re married’. Yes, thank you for expounding on the simple. As for the “no value” in virginity… you reveal your ignorance. Most couples who have sex before/outside of marriage have “trust issues” after marriage. I think TRUST is extremely valuable.
      #3 I think you might be mixing the concepts of “respect” and “trust”. Respect means you value (find important) what she values. Trust can be lost when someone has done wrong or made a mistake. You said, “to respect someone unconditionally is insane”. Why? I think everyone should respect all people, but not necessarily trust them. If their character is untrustworthy, then, no, you shouldn’t trust them. But respect is different.

      Your comments on #6 and #7 reveal that you are likely the type of person who (1) doesn’t trust people, (2) thinks that reputation is stupid because who cares what others think of you as long as you can do what you want, (3) isn’t influencing the next generation, or if you are, it is not with a clear code of character, and (4) have likely been hurt by others close to you.
      I’m sorry others have hurt you. If THEY had followed a code of honor, and shared that with you, I’m sure you might see this list differently.

    • wertyu739 November 16, 2013 at 10:21 AM

      I feel like your statement “Faith has no value” is misguided.

      Faith is an essential part of every human’s life. For instance, if you buy a new chair and sit in it for the first time, you have faith that it will not collapse. If drive through an intersection, you have faith that the vehicles driving perpendicular to you are going to stop instead of hitting you. Yes, this faith is based on experience and reason. However, when you sit, you don’t first take you your force sensors, create models of it, or calculate the shearing and tension forces that you shall exert on the chair. Neither do you create a contract, make the other drivers sign it, or erect concrete barriers between them and you before you drive through the intersection.

      Testing, measuring and reasoning before you attempt anything would be ridiculous. Instead, you rely on faith. Yes, that faith is backed up with physics or logic, but it is still faith because you have not checked it beforehand. That is where the misconception lies. Having faith does not mean lacking logic. Faith and logic are allowed to coexist in harmony, and should. When faith and logic do not agree, then you sit down and deliberate, measure and reason until you find the correct answer; it may be “oops, my initial measurements/logic was mistaken” or it may be “I should change my belief in this area.” However, never having faith in anything because you “might be wrong” is being paranoid.

      • morkindie November 17, 2013 at 9:12 PM

        You are mixing up two different definitions of faith.
        I trust that my chair will hold up because it held up yesterday and I have no reason to think it has been altered.

        In this sentence faith and trust are synonymous.

        That is not the same as religious faith.

        Religious faith is trusting without evidence.
        Faith/trust without evidence is irrational, and an unreliable way to live.

    • Bryan Nass November 17, 2013 at 5:23 AM

      Purity even if code for virginity as you suggest it worthy of protecting! A man will protect it. Respect everyone anything less and your a boy. We are all created in the image of our creator therefore that deserves respect from one another. Although I love reason you need to be able to come to grips with something bigger than yourself if you only believe in what you can reason out you have a pretty small view if the world and the God that created it.

      • morkindie November 17, 2013 at 9:14 PM

        Why is virginity worth protecting?

        believing things that you don’t understand does not give you a bigger view of the world. It means you are pretending to know things that you do not.

    • goryub November 19, 2013 at 7:18 PM


    • HK November 22, 2013 at 12:37 PM

      2. Purity does have value, it keeps a person from emotional and possibly physical harm.
      3. I can choose to respect someone even though they might not deserve it.
      6. Very true.
      7. I think that the article is saying that a boy changes what he believes just so that he be with a girl. Not to evidence.

    • Braden Weber November 27, 2013 at 7:06 PM

      I know this was from a while back, but I couldn’t help noticing that morkindie said, in this comment thread, that religious faith is trusting without evidence. I don’t know where you heard that, but that is not religious faith at all. Some people, even Christians, like to define it that way, but it’s a different type of faith all together – it is built on evidence. I’ve heard evidence for Christianity that are more convincing than other religions or lack of religion, so I have a faith this is synonomous with trust. I TRUST that some things that I don’t know answers for do have answers because everything else fits into place too nicely to disregard because of one missing piece. For examples, dinosaurs and noah’s ark. I haven’t done any research on it, but I have faith that there’s an answer because the Bible has too much evidence for itself to bash it all for one thing I don’t have an answer for. I’m sure science still doesn’t know everything, but I trust that scientifical things that we don’t understand can be figured out. For example: dark matter. My point is, Christians should have faith that is synonymous with trust.

      • morkindie November 28, 2013 at 7:22 AM

        Except that there is no evidence for any aspect of Christianity.

        If you think you have seen evidence for God, you are mistaken as to what evidence is.

        You might find it personally convincing. Revelation is particularly convincing because it is a strong emotional certainty. Just realize that people hallucinate, they are wrong about things all the time and large population double-blind experiments with proper controls groups and rigorous statistical analysis has been applied to all sorts of religious claims.

        They all fail at the basic tests that we use to build all of the technology that we do have.

        Tell me about your favorite piece of evidence, and I will explain to you exactly why you are wrong.

    • Braden Weber November 29, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      First of all, find out what my evidence is before you address it. My evidence is not built on “hallucinations” (probably spelled wrong ;) ) or “visions” as you seemed to assume it was.

      And, even as much as I am against atheism, even I am willing to say they may have some evidences. Though someone can be wrong, they can have evidence of some sort.

      Now for the evidence: read Case for Christ by Lee Strobel and you can’t say there’s no evidence. You can say Christianity is still not convincing, but there will be some evidences.

      • morkindie November 29, 2013 at 5:30 PM

        Lee Strobel doesn’t present any evidence.
        He interviews religious scholars who make all of the same assumptions that he does.
        1. God is real.
        2. Miracles are real.
        3. Jesus was real.
        4. The bible is an accurate historical document written by contemporaries of Jesus.

    • Braden Weber November 30, 2013 at 2:31 PM

      I have a feeling you haven’t read the book.

      • morkindie December 2, 2013 at 7:05 PM

        No. I don’t intend to read the writing of someone who has already demonstrated a lack of critical thinking skills.
        His documentary was full of bad research.

    • laura December 10, 2013 at 9:10 PM

      Faith has the more value than what we see as facts. Faith allows you to persue dreams and they can become evidence.

      If you only saw the sky during the day….you would say it only has a sun, and perhaps clouds and birds…etc. but the sun blocks your vision of the stars that are also present. You might not believe it if I told you there were stars when your only evidence was daytime views of the sky.

      Your brain as being in this world has been trained to only see the physical…. what you touch and feel. But you can train it to become aware of the spiritual by excercising faith….don’t let your brain block out the non physical just like the sunblocks the sight of the stars during the day. That’s why people that have faith in God are so passionate about His existence because they have trained their mind through faith and can finally see who’s been there all the while.

      • morkindie December 12, 2013 at 10:42 AM

        Believing in God is a result of blind faith.
        But that doesn’t mean that it is a benefit.
        Having strong feelings about things when you have no evidence isn’t beneficial. It leads to poor decisions.

        Having an open mind to new possibilities is wonderful.
        Believing in those things without evidence is foolish.
        There are so many ideas about what might be that one would go mad if they believed them all.
        The different beliefs about god are contradictory. Faith cannot lead you to the truth.

        It has no value.

    • Jolly Roger December 12, 2013 at 6:45 PM

      Okay I’ve read most if not all of your comments, I can tell you think faith is ridiculous, not only that but stupid as well. And anybody who has faith is an idiot, don’t get me wrong reason has it’s places, but some things must be taken on pure faith. I can see that trying to prove to you that faith is a good basis for belief is a useless waste of my time but for arguments sake, let’s think about religion for a minute, and I’ll use Religion in-general whether you be Atheist, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu or any other religion, in order for you to BELIEVE any of these, you must first have FAITH that one is right. Because none have been proven wrong or right, there is no EVIDENCE to better prove one or the other, so therefore I REASON that because you have FAITH that FAITH has no value, you are wrong because yes even you have FAITH.

      • morkindie December 25, 2013 at 8:37 PM

        There are infinite things that one can believe, for which there is no evidence. They cannot all possibly be true, most of them contradict. Therefore, I reason that the only time someone should act as if something is true without evidence, is when it is absolutely necessary.
        One does not have to actually believe though.

        Take the “simulation” problem.

        You don’t know, can never know for certain that everything that you experience is more than a simulation. You could be Neo in the matrix.
        You can either act as if the world is real or not.

        Is that faith?


        Is that what Christians mean when they say Faith?

        No. Religious faith is believing in something that is not necessary.

  • Meggins November 15, 2013 at 1:36 PM

    I am so blessed to be married to a wonderful man- for 28 years. Remember that it takes two, everyone. One of the finest moments of our marriage was in the middle of a silly argument. We stared at each other angrily. Then he said, “That’s all I got!” And we laughed really REALLY hard. Decades later, we can still stop the nonsense, with “That’s all I got!” We may (or may not) laugh quite as hard as we did way back when, but the beauty of forgiveness and the remembrance of the love we share can never be undone by the silliness of needing to “win”. Thank God for my blessing!

    • Renee Trudeau November 15, 2013 at 4:39 PM

      You sound like you have a wonderful husband. In some ways getting a good mate is a crap shoot. The kind of husband a young lady ends up with when she marries in her teens or early twenties is often not husband and father material. We are so young and ignorant when we choose at that tender age and we have a hard time seeing through the facade. I chose a young “boy” who was teaching Sunday school, and he could talk the talk. But when I look back there were signs of destructive behavior that I was blind to at that young age. My faith in God has kept me sane in the midst of chaos from my husband’s destructive behavior. On the other hand, my friend married even younger than I did, and her husband is truly a man of God. The two of them are a team and work toward the common goal of honoring God. Their fights are more like yours where they usually end up laughing. I don’t covet her marriage, because I know this place is not my home and my staying in a troubled marriage for as long as I have has been God honoring and in some ways reflects God’s love for us as rebellious destructive beings. These points are good to know and I wish I would have followed a guideline like this instead of whether or not he attended church.

  • Melissa November 14, 2013 at 11:04 PM

    Awesome! Love it!

    -A man seeks growth through God.

    -A boy stays content where he’s at.

    • Debbie November 15, 2013 at 4:47 PM


    • Kristine Charisse V. Meriveles November 16, 2013 at 7:24 AM


    • Michael November 16, 2013 at 11:37 AM

      Whereas I agree with your intent, I would challenge your statement that “a boy stays content where he’s at.” I would think that a boy would not be content because he has not fulfilled his natural inclination to mature and therefore he acts as he does out of his immaturity and is therefore not content.

    • Sam November 16, 2013 at 9:24 PM

      YESS!! :)

  • Melissa Watanabe November 14, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    I love this so much!! It’s time that Godly woman start realizing the difference! :) A post about how WOMAN should be could be great too :P Men might need so help in that area as well? Just wondering :) Thank you for always speaking the truth!!!

  • Keaton Washburn November 14, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    Love this post so much! I run an Instagram account called @christianguys and we are using this post for a series we’re doing. We’d love it if you checked it out :)

  • Silver Price November 14, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    Society today has changed in many ways. For example, we now have something called “online dating.” There is also traditional dating, which has been around for centuries. Online dating and traditional dating have many similarities, but yet at the same time have many differences.

  • Brandi November 14, 2013 at 11:43 AM

    Think we should also have differences between girls and women. I am in a courtship, I learn new things about myself everyday. Not just from the relationship or how to be a wife in Gods timing. But a lot about The woman I am in Christ versus a girl.

    • Jarrid Wilson Author November 14, 2013 at 1:58 PM

      I totally agree. Maybe my next post? :)

    • Alissa November 15, 2013 at 12:59 PM

      Please do!
      I loved reading this… And i really want to see some areas of how i can grow more as a woman….

  • Brandi November 14, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    A man holds himself and his partner accountable with grace and mercy and love. He seeks to grow in God with you.
    A boy brushes things under the rug and stays immature. He has no desire to grow himself or his partner.

  • Kelly-Anne November 14, 2013 at 10:51 AM

    -A boy asks the Girl for her heart.
    -A man asks God for the Girls heart.

    • Jarrid Wilson Author November 14, 2013 at 1:58 PM


    • grum November 16, 2013 at 7:37 AM

      666 Your god is wrong.

  • Abby November 14, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    A Man seeks to protect those he loves
    A boy seeks to protect himself, even by sacrificing those he loves

  • savannahlauren November 14, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    Thank you, Kim! Pet peeve..lol.

  • savannahlauren November 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM

    I find it deliciously ironic that your screen name is ‘boy’ and your comment implies that you have taken all the aforementioned points to heart. I am also assuming(I know, I know. What does assuming do?) that you have some slight anger issues..which is typical of a boy, as opposed to having self-control, which is a trait of a man.

    Oh. And I know this is probably pretty low on your priority list, but to tell someone that they are stupid is to say, “You are stupid,” at which point your statement should be, “You’re stupid.”

    On another note, I am a woman, not a girl. I may start something, but I am under no obligation..personal or otherwise..to finish it. Therefore, if you reply with a comment that’s sole intended purpose is to bait me and to get a reaction, it will very simply not happen.

    And if you were not replying to this blog post, but instead to a comment that was, indeed, stupid..and has now been removed, since I cannot find it..I beg your forgiveness. I will not apologize for this rant, though. If it wasn’t for you, perhaps someone else needed it.

    -Savannah Lauren

    • Seth November 14, 2013 at 10:18 PM

      Sorry, don’t have context for this, and not really interested in getting in on this discussion, but that statement about grammar bugged me a bit. Contractions aren’t necessary, and “You’re stupid” isn’t the “correct” way to write “You are stupid”. In fact, not using contraction tends to be a bit more formal. Sorry for the randomness.

  • Jim Cooper November 14, 2013 at 6:40 AM

    Excellent, as far as it goes. All the differences are valid and true, but there is sooooo much more to this whole dating thing, and yet, the more can be capsulized in a brief article too. The differences between a boy and a man are obvious and glaring (if one is looking), but the differences between a plain man and a Christian man are even greater. Even greater still are the differences between a Christian man and a strong Christian man. Speak to that deeper issue.

  • Te November 14, 2013 at 6:35 AM

    Amen. There needs to be conferences, seminars, classes, etc for young men (with boy mentality),grown men trying to rekindle their teen years, and to train up boys coming from fatherless homes on how to become a real man. We as women/ladies/girls need encouragement like this to stand firm against pressures leading to broken promises from these boys in grown man bodies; playing emotional games on even the strongest of good women…Anyway Jarrid thanks for making it plain for all to see. May the Lord Jesus Christ continue to strengthen,guide, encourage, prosper and bless you in this journey.

  • Joan Shurland November 14, 2013 at 12:52 AM

    Brother Jarrid, God bless you and family. My name is Evangelist Joan, being single for seventeen years, when that comes in my life, you have to pass him for me, (smile). Thank you for the truth to those 10 differencies between a man and a boy. Continue to motivate us on facebook, there’re many young girls out there that needs to read this over and over in meditation so they don’t get trick in such trap. God bless you

  • May Llorito November 14, 2013 at 12:37 AM


  • Rael November 14, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    Very true!!!

  • Elaine November 13, 2013 at 11:50 PM

    a man have action to pursue, a boy have excuse!

  • juana November 13, 2013 at 10:37 PM

    wow. So needed to read this. And its so special to me and girls like me…fatherless. my father was never in my life so therefore I did not habe the blessing of having a man in my life. Yes God has put other godly men in my life but its not the same as having a dad. Telling me what to lool foe in a man. I knw what I want and I have been blessed to have ppl put in my life tobhave helped guide me. And of course no matter what God is the ultimate father that I could ever ask for.
    And he’s helping me figure things out and such as this as a reminder ro never settle for anything less than a man.
    Great article and many thanks for taking time and doing Gods will. Such a blessing! :)

  • emmanuel ngazimbi November 13, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    God shape lives,
    dwell in him and all will pour unto you as gifts

  • Jarod November 13, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    First of all, This is an amazing post. And this is actually the first time i have ever commented on one of these so i hope this doesn’t offend anyone. Know my heart and in no way do i want this post to seem combative or debating. The concept of the differences between a boy and a man are in fact true. The only thing i don’t see is grace…People in general, including Christians, are imperfect. We all have a past and Its with our imperfect lives that the God of the cosmos can mold, shape, chip away and construct us in his very image. But while we are on earth we will never be perfect and never stop being tempted to sin. Yes i believe that men and women should never compromise their purity EVER! The bible teaches to flee from youthful lust. Men and women shouldn’t be searching for the perfect person but rather through there love for Christ strive to be the perfect person to there spouse or loved one. If we choose to Love and Respect our spouses as we would do unto Christ it creates cycle that is completely driven by the love of God. But all in all, Ladies, find a man who puts God first and you second. Find a man that has so much love for God that his cup will over run into your relationship with a pure and untainted love. Thanks for letting me share.

    • Jarod November 13, 2013 at 9:43 PM

      Also, Im not a Grace fanatic that doesnt believe in the wrath of God. We all reap what we sow. But i do believe in a balanced life with Jesus. Thanks again

    • flor November 13, 2013 at 11:46 PM

      very well said. . . amen to that. .

  • Lily November 13, 2013 at 8:02 PM

    Well said Jarrid! With your permission, shall I re-post this in my blog? I shall put the source link.

  • Samara November 13, 2013 at 7:06 PM

    Thank you :’)

  • Joanna Joe November 13, 2013 at 7:04 PM

    This is so true. All the single/ in relationship girls should read this! Jesus bless you pastor Jarrid! :)

  • Babydash November 13, 2013 at 7:03 PM

    that’s reality..great.. i have idea now.. :-)

  • Jordan November 13, 2013 at 6:50 PM

    Love it

  • Jolene Engle November 13, 2013 at 6:50 PM

    Love this! I’m certainly passing this one on to all the single gals I write to!

  • marie grace November 13, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    I’ll keep this in mind.

  • Paola M. Castro Travieso November 13, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    One of my favorites :D Great post! So true

  • Rebekah Richardson November 13, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    AMAZING and truthful post

    • Jarrid Wilson Author November 13, 2013 at 6:14 PM

      Thanks Rebekah, I appreciate it.

  • Carlos November 13, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    Knocked it out of the park.

  • Chelsea November 13, 2013 at 1:05 PM

    Great post! Continue doing what you’re doing.

  • Jhoss November 13, 2013 at 1:04 PM

    A true man loves God above all things!

  • JT November 13, 2013 at 12:59 PM

    Said enough. Amen

  • gabriela November 13, 2013 at 12:30 PM

    That is so true. I myself have seen different traits between Boys and Men. Thanks so much.

  • Sherry November 13, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    LOVE this. I know it may seem funny to relate to this, but God has been showing me what I should be “looking” for as far as relationships go and this is spot on. Bless you & love ya bro!

  • Iona November 13, 2013 at 12:26 PM


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